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By Root 237 0

red lights and stop signs on a bicycle is smart (and required by law), but remaining at them when there is no sign of traffic is pointless—it’s just a gesture of supplication to Lady Justice. Enough people are realizing this that some cities are considering laws that allow cyclists to roll through stop signs if there’s no oncoming traffic. These laws are called “Idaho Laws,” not because they involve tubers, but because they’re based on existing laws in the “Famous Potato” state. Similarly, you’re not technically allowed to lock your bike just anywhere (at least not here in New York). But the fact is there aren’t very many bike racks, and most people don’t know you’re supposed to use them anyway, so if you’re reasonably smart and careful you can park your bike pretty much anywhere you want. (Just stay aware and don’t leave it too long—the cops will occasionally break out the circular saws.) As a cyclist, you’re in the minority, and for that reason you can sometimes weave through the law like you can weave through traffic. It’s perfectly fine to capitalize on your rogue status occasionally.

Better still, as a cyclist you’re also completely free from vehicle registration, insurance, and licensing requirements. You don’t have to pass any tests, you don’t have to be any particular age, and there are no restrictions as to when and where you can ride (apart from highways, of course, where you wouldn’t want to be anyway). At most, there may be some laws requiring you to use a light, or a brake, or a helmet. Big deal—you should probably be using these regardless. But you don’t have to wait in a line at the DMV, you don’t need to take a test proving you know how to park your bike (though that would be pretty amusing to watch), and you don’t need to pay anybody for the privilege to ride. There’s no other form of transportation that is so effective yet so free from restrictions.

I Want In. Now What?

Like vampirism, there is an initiation process when you become a cyclist. I don’t mean that you have to look a certain way or conform to somebody’s idea of what a cyclist is. Yes, you need to like riding your bike to be a cyclist, but it doesn’t really matter how fast or slow you are on the bike or what kind of pants you wear while you ride it (though some pants are better than others). Everybody rides differently, and that’s how it should be. No, what this initiation involves is physical pain. Yes, in order to liberate yourself from the psychic pain of being alive you will have to experience some physical discomfort. Much of it will disappear, but some of it will remain. The good news, though, is that you will come to embrace and even enjoy that discomfort.

Cycling is an outdoor activity. While you can technically ride your bike inside, that’s not a very good way to actually get anywhere, so eventually you’re going to have to deal with things like rain, wind, and cold. And that means you’ve got to prepare yourself physically and mentally. You’ve got to learn that it’s okay to be cold, and that there are things you can do to make the cold perfectly manageable, and that it’s better to feel cold than it is to feel like cattle. In fact, sometimes it can be great to feel cold. Hey, I love warm beaches and being indoors on crappy days as much as anybody, but the truth is that the life lived entirely at optimum temperature is the life not worth living. Would you appreciate pleasure as much if it weren’t for pain? Would you like sweet things as much if there weren’t salty things? Would you realize how much Sammy Hagar sucks if he hadn’t come right after David Lee Roth? Nope. So why shelter yourself from the beautiful variety of nature’s atmospheric whims?

Once you’re in, you know what it means to be a different, and in many ways better, kind of being. Because you’ll know the true freedom of more or less unregulated mobility. And once you know that, you’re hooked. You’ll also find your non-cycling friends really annoying, because you’ll realize how long it takes them to get places and how subject to things like timetables and service interruptions