Bittersweet Love - Cathy Williams [54]
What was she going to do? Darkness gathered around her and she remained sitting in the lounge, not bothering to switch on the lights. Nothing that had ever happened in her life before could have prepared her for this. The shock, the frightening reality of it, deadened her until her brain became sluggish and could only revolve around and around on the same lines. A baby. In her. Kane’s baby—and what the hell was she going to do?
She didn’t hear the knocking on the door, wasn’t aware of the dark figure pushing it open then moving quickly towards her. At least, she wasn’t aware of the dark figure until he was kneeling in front of her, his face barely discernible in the dark. Then she sprang up, her face white.
‘What are you doing here?’ she asked in a high, uneven voice.
Kane stood up, his eyes urgent and penetrating.
‘I knocked but there was no answer so I pushed the door and it was open. What the hell is going on here? Why are you sitting here in darkness?’
Natalie stared at him mutely. Seeing Kane here, like this, had thrown her into a state of shock and she felt as though she would choke if she tried talking.
‘Answer me!’ He gripped her by her elbows and shook her slightly, sending her hair flying around her face.
It galvanised her frozen mind back into action and she wrenched herself free.
‘I told you I didn’t want to see you,’ she said quickly and desperately. ‘I told you. So get out.’ Her voice was rising with each syllable and Kane was staring at her with a bemused frown. He knew that something was very wrong, but he couldn’t figure out what. Natalie laughed out loud and the laughter sounded shrill and uncontrolled even in her own ears.
‘What’s happened?’ he demanded, striding over to the light-switch and turning on the lights.
Natalie put her hands to her face. Anyone would think that he was concerned about her. He deserved an Oscar for the performance.
‘Nothing,’ she said fighting to keep her voice steady and so not arouse his suspicions even further. ‘I had a bit of a headache, that’s all.’ She rubbed her temples. Her head really did hurt as well. It hurt with all the pain and confusion she was feeling inside. They said that your emotions could make you physically ill.
Kane moved over to the sofa and sat beside her, his body depressing the cushions and making her dip slightly towards him. From this close, his clean masculine scent filled her head like incense, and it was an effort to re-member that small fact of her pregnancy, lying there like a time bomb waiting to explode.
All of a sudden, her mind became very lucid. Whereas before she had been swept up in a whirlpool of sickening panic, now, ironically with him sitting right there by her, she thought quickly and clearly.
He must not find out. That seemed to be the most important thing. She had no intention of terminating the pregnancy. On the other hand, she was not going to confront him with it either. She half suspected that he would feel obliged to do the honourable thing and get her up to the altar, and Natalie could think of nothing worse than a marriage conceived for the wrong reasons.
It was a tremendous struggle, though, not to succumb to that alluring desire to crack up, to rant and rave and share her terrible anguish with the man who had created it, because ironically he would have been the one person who would have understood. But there was no way that she could afford to do that.
No, she had to be sensible. Her impassioned rejection of him had merely served to stoke his interest. She would have to try another tack altogether. Indifference. That, if nothing else, would be guaranteed to kill any curiosity he might have about her potential as a short-term affair.
‘Can I get you a cup of coffee?’ she asked, venturing’ a smile.
Kane’s frown deepened. He was not stupid. He knew that there was something suspicious about her sudden mood-switch, but he could not work out what. He shook his head and continued to look at her.
‘What about something cold?’ she pressed.