Blackwood Farm - Anne Rice [105]
“ ‘That’s about the extent of what I see.’ She went on as though I weren’t frothing at the mouth, ‘and I don’t, by any means, see it very often. Only now and then when your spirit wants me to see him, I suspect.’
“I was not only angry—fit to be tied—I was amazed. I had been in a constant state of amazement since Rebecca appeared to me, reeling from one revelation after another, and now this, to discover that all these years Aunt Queen had been seeing Goblin.
“ ‘Is there anything else?’ I asked with a hint of sarcasm, ‘that you can confide at this time?’
“ ‘Quinn,’ she said gravely, ‘it’s perhaps ridiculous of me to say that I’ve always done what I thought best for you. I’ve never denied the existence of Goblin. The path I chose was more careful and deliberate than that. It was not to ratify Goblin, not to reinforce him, one might say, because I’ve never known whether Goblin was a good creature or bad. But as we are laying it all out on the table, let me tell you that Big Ramona can see of Goblin about as much as I can—a turbulence in the air. No more, no less. And Jasmine can see that much too.’
“I was floored. I felt quite alone. My closest kith and kin had lied to me, as I saw it, and I wished with all my heart that Lynelle had not died. I prayed that somehow the spirit of Lynelle could come to me—since I possessed such a knack for ghosts and spirits—and I swore under my breath and to myself alone that I knew Lynelle could tell me what to make of all that had transpired.
“ ‘Beloved nephew,’ Aunt Queen said—an expression she would use a lot as I got older, and she said it now with sweet formality and intimate devotion—‘beloved nephew, you have to realize that I take your powers very seriously and always have. But I’ve never known if they were a good thing.’
“A sudden revelation came to me, a certainty based upon what she had said, if not everything else, that my powers weren’t for good. I told her in a half whisper, the only manly voice I could manage, about the twilight panic, the thoughts of taking Pops’ gun and putting an end to my life, and I told her about how on the afternoon of Rebecca’s coming to me I had sat on the front steps, watching that golden light go down and saying to the powers that be, Please deliver me from this, please anything but this. I didn’t remember my prayer. I don’t remember it now. Perhaps I gave her a more nearly accurate version. I don’t know.
“There came a tender silence, and when I looked up I saw the tears on her cheeks. Beyond her, by the post of her bed, stood Goblin, vivid once more, and he too was weeping and reaching out to me, as if he would like to cradle my head in his left hand.
“ ‘Go away, Goblin!’ I said sharply. ‘I don’t want you here now! Leave me. Go find Lynelle for me! Travel the spirit winds for me, but get away.’
“He flashed brilliant, at his most detailed, his most shining, and his face was full of hurt and insult and pouting lip, and then, snap, no more.
“ ‘If he’s still in this room, I don’t know it,’ I confessed to Aunt Queen. ‘And as for Rebecca, I have to find justice for her. I have to discover, if I can, what they did to her in that house.’
“Aunt Queen wiped her blue eyes with her napkin, and I felt more than a twinge of guilt that I had made her cry. I loved her, suddenly, no matter what she said or did, and I needed her and was so miserable at having been angry with her that I got up, came around, went down on my knees and embraced her and held her fragile form for some seconds in utter quiet.
“Then I looked at her shimmering, ankle-strap spike-heel shoes, and I laughed and I kissed her insteps. I kissed her toes. I gave her right foot an affectionate squeeze with my left hand.
“ ‘Tarquin Blackwood, you’re certifiably insane, cease and desist,’ she declared. ‘Now sit down like a good boy, and pour me another glass of champagne.’
“We had finished one bottle, so I opened another, with the aplomb of a boy who has for years assisted in an elegant bed-and-breakfast hotel, and poured the foaming wine into her tulip