Blackwood Farm - Anne Rice [193]
“ ‘Yes,’ I said, ‘I have seen ghosts that strong.’
“I told them both the whole story of Rebecca. And as I did so I knew I was being my own worst enemy again. But there could be nothing under this roof but frankness, or so it seemed to me. My love for them ordained that frankness.
“I also told them about Goblin. As much as I thought right.
“ ‘Don’t you see that I belong with her?’ I said finally. ‘She’s the only one who will ever understand me, and I’m the only one who’ll ever understand her?’
“ ‘Son, you have your own ghosts,’ said Michael, ‘and she has hers. You have to move away from each other. You have to seek a decent normality on your own.’
“ ‘Oh, God, that’s impossible!’ I said. ‘We’ll never achieve it. Besides, who’s to say we can’t achieve it better together if it’s achievable at all?’
“I could see now they were pondering my words. I had made some incidental impression of intelligence on them if nothing else. They hadn’t kicked me out of their house yet in any event, and now an overpowering urge to have hot chocolate came over me, a stupid, insidious desire to drink hot chocolate in large amounts.
“And to my utter amazement, Michael rose and said, ‘I’ll fix it for you. I’d like some myself.’ I was stunned. They were a family of mind readers on top of everything else. I heard him laugh under his breath as he went to the pantry. Then came the noises and the deep delicious fragrance of the heated milk.
“Rowan sat there solemnly and pondering, and then, very softly, she spoke. Her voice as usual was much gentler than her angular face, with its high cheekbones and blunt-cut wavy hair.
“ ‘Tarquin, let me lay it out,’ she said. ‘Let me violate Mona’s confidentiality. Let me make that judgment call. Mona has given me permission to do it, to tell you things about her, which really shouldn’t be told. She isn’t really old enough to give that permission. But let me go on. Mona endangers herself every time she has intimate relations with a man. Do you follow me? She runs the risk of hurting herself severely. We’re trying to keep Mona alive.’
“ ‘But we used protection, Dr. Mayfair,’ I insisted. Nevertheless this was frightening news. I had dried my eyes by this time and was trying to behave like an adult.
“ ‘Of course you did,’ said Dr. Mayfair, raising her eyebrows slightly, ‘but even the best of precautions can fail. There’s always the possibility that Mona will conceive. And just the smallest miscarriage weakens Mona in ways that a normal woman does not have to worry about. It’s all because of the baby born to Mona, the baby whom Oncle Julien mentioned to you in the garden outside. It left Mona vulnerable. And we’re trying to keep Mona alive. We’re trying to discover how to fix what’s wrong so Mona won’t be so vulnerable, but for that we need time.’
“ ‘Dear God,’ I whispered. ‘That’s why Mona was at Mayfair Medical the day I saw her.’
“ ‘Precisely,’ said Rowan. She was becoming a little more heated, but she sounded compassionate at the same time. ‘We’re not insensitive monsters,’ she said. ‘Really we’re not. We’re trying to get her to stop seducing her cousins and to cooperate with our regimen of blood tests and nutritional supplements so we can find out what’s going wrong inside of her and why she so often conceives. Now, I’ve told you more than I should, and by the way, let me add that she is in love with you and she’s stopped roaming since she met you; you have every right to know that, but we can’t countenance her being with you.’
“ ‘No,’ I said, ‘what you can’t countenance is her being alone with me. Let me see her here with you present. Let me see her with a vow of celibacy. What could be wrong with that?’
“Michael came to the table with the very silver pitcher I had seen in the garden and cups for us all. It was the same damned china. The hot chocolate was as rich and delicious as it had been in the vision and I was ready for a second cup almost at once. I wanted to tell them about the pitcher and the china, but I wanted even more to