Blood and Gold - Anne Rice [39]
Mael’s eyes were blazing with hatred.
“Oh, yes,” he whispered at me, too angry for a full voice. “And why not offer us a villa on the Bay of Naples, with marble balustrades overlooking the blue sea!”
Avicus looked directly at me. He appeared quiet in his heart and genuinely moved by my words.
But what was the use?
I said no more.
My proud calm was suddenly broken. The anger returned along with its weakness. I remembered the hymns of the grove, and I wanted to move against Mael, for all the ugliness of it, to quite literally tear him limb from limb.
Would Avicus move to save him? It was likely. But what if he did not? And what if I proved stronger than both of them, I who had drunk from the Queen?
I looked at Mael. He wasn’t afraid of me, which I found interesting.
And my pride returned. I could not stoop to a common physical battle, especially one which might become hideously awkward and ugly, one which I might not win.
No, I was too wise for it. I was too good of heart. I was Marius, who slew the Evil Doer, and this was Mael, a fool.
They made to walk away through the garden and I could find no words to say to them, but Avicus turned to me and said quickly, “Farewell, Marius. I thank you and I will remember you.”
And I found myself struck by the words.
“Farewell, Avicus,” I answered. And I listened as they disappeared into the night.
I sat there, feeling a crushing loneliness.
I looked at my many bookcases, and at my writing table. I looked at my inkstand. I looked at the paintings on the walls.
I should have tried to make peace with Mael, surely, to have Avicus as my friend.
I should go after them both. I should implore them to remain with me. We had so much more to say to one another. I needed them as they needed each other. As I needed Pandora.
But I lived the lie. I lived it out of anger. This is what I’m trying to tell you. I have lived lies. I have done it again and again. I live lies because I cannot endure the weakness of anger, and I cannot admit the irrationality of love.
Oh, the lies that I have told myself and others. I knew it yet I didn’t know.
6
For a full month, I didn’t dare to go to the shrine of Those Who Must Be Kept.
I knew that Mael and Avicus still hunted Rome. I caught glimpses of them with the Mind Gift and occasionally I even spied upon their very thoughts. Sometimes I heard their steps.
Indeed it seemed to me that Mael was actually tormenting me with his presence, attempting to ruin my tenure in the great city, and this made me bitter. I contemplated attempting to drive him and his companion away.
I also suffered considerable preoccupation with Avicus, whose face I could not forget. What was the disposition of this strange being, I thought. What would it mean for him to be my companion? I feared I would never know.
Meantime, other blood drinkers occasionally hunted the city. I felt their presence immediately, and there was no doubt on one particular night that a skirmish occurred between a powerful and hostile blood drinker and Avicus and Mael. With the Mind Gift I knew all that took place. Avicus and Mael so frightened the visitor that he was gone before morning, and had even given word in a lowly voice that he would never come to Rome again.
This put me to pondering. Would Avicus and Mael keep the city clean of others, while leaving me alone?
As the months passed this seemed to be the case.
A small band of Christian blood drinkers tried to infest our hunting ground. Indeed they came from the same tribe of snake worshipers who had come to me in Antioch insisting that I had old truths. With the Mind Gift I saw them fervently setting up their temple where they meant to sacrifice mortals. I was deeply repelled.
But once again Avicus and Mael put them to rout, apparently without being contaminated by their extravagant ideas about us serving Satan—a personage