Blood Canticle - Anne Rice [70]
“But then this woman disappeared from the Talamasca. Her name was Merrick Mayfair. I hadn’t known her, but I’d known of her—that she was a colored Mayfair, descended from a downtown branch of the family. I can’t remember. I think it was Lily Mayfair, yes, or was it Lauren—I despise Lauren, Lauren has an evil mind—Lauren who told me there were lots of colored Mayfairs, but this Merrick wasn’t very close to any of them. This Merrick, she had tremendous psychic powers. She knew about us, the First Street gang, but she really didn’t want contact. She’d spent most of her life in the Talamasca and we’d never even known of her. Mayfairs hate it when they don’t know about Mayfairs.
“Lauren said that she’d come once, this Merrick Mayfair, when the house was opened for a Holiday Tour, you know, a benefit for the Preservationists, after Michael had restored everything, after all the bad times were over, and before Mona was really sick. This person, Merrick, she’d gone through First Street with the tourists, imagine, just to see the nucleus. And we hadn’t been here. We hadn’t known.”
A sword went through me at these words. I glanced at Stirling. He too was suffering. I flashed back on Merrick climbing on the flaming altar, taking with her into the Light the spirit that had plagued Quinn all of his life. Don’t reveal. Don’t revive. Can’t help.
But Rowan was talking about a time long before the other night when Merrick disappeared forever. Rowan was talking about Merrick’s turning to us.
“Then she disappeared,” Rowan said, “and the Talamasca was thrown into confusion. Merrick gone. Whispers of evil. That’s when Stirling Oliver came South.” She looked at Stirling. He was watching her fearfully but calmly.
She lowered her eyes again, her voice continuing soft and low, just above a threatening hysteria.
“Oh yes,” she said to me, “I know. I thought I was losing my mind at times. I built Mayfair Medical not to be the Mad Scientist. The Mad Scientist is capable of the unspeakable. Dr. Rowan Mayfair has to be good. I created this immense Medical Center to commit Dr. Rowan Mayfair to good. Once this plan was under way, I couldn’t afford to go down into madness—dreaming of the Taltos and where they’d gone, dreaming of strange creatures I’d seen and lost without a trace. Mona’s daughter. We tried everything we could to find her. But I couldn’t live in a shadow world. I had to be there for all the ordinary people, signing contracts, rolling out blueprints, calling doctors all over the country, flying to Switzerland and Vienna to interview physicians who wanted to work in the ideal medical center, the medical center that surpassed every other in its equipment, its laboratories, its staff, its comforts, its protocols and projects.
“It was to rivet me to the sane world, it was to push my own medical visions to the very limits—.”
“Rowan, it’s a magnificent thing that you did,” Quinn said. “You speak as though you don’t believe in it when you’re not there. Everyone else believes in it.”
She went on in the same soft rush of words as though she hadn’t heard him. “All kinds of people come to it,” she said, her words flowing as if she couldn’t stop them, “people who have never given birth to Taltos, people who have never seen ghosts, people who have never buried bodies in a Savage Garden, people who have never seen Blood Children, people who have never even hoped for the extraordinary in any form, it helps all manner of human beings, it embraces them, it’s real to them, real, that’s what was important. I couldn’t let it go, I couldn’t ever retreat into nightmares or scribblings in my room, I couldn’t ever fail my interns and residents, my laboratory assistants, my research teams, and you know, with my background, the neurosurgeon, the scientist at heart, I brought to every aspect of this giant organism a personal approach; I couldn’t run away, I couldn’t fail, I can’t fail now, I can’t be absent, I can’t. . . .”
She broke down, her