Blood Noir - Laurell K. Hamilton [100]
I pushed the thought away. I’d worry about it later. I had way more immediate problems to worry about. What had Crispin said? That I’d mind-fucked him just like any other vampire. Had I done that? Had the ardeur done that?
Water started running in the bathroom.
I needed Jean-Claude. I reached out to him down that long metaphysical cord that bound us and found…nothing. I could not sense him. It was like some huge, white blankness where he should have been for me.
Fear came back in a rush of near panic. I started shivering and couldn’t stop. I fought the urge to scream at Jason to wake up and tell me if he could sense Jean-Claude. Was it just me, or was something wrong with Jean-Claude? I had a cell phone once. Where was it? When metaphysics fails, you can always try technology.
I started digging through the ruined clothes with the one empty hand I had. Where the hell would the cell phone be? Had I had it with me last night? Or was it in the luggage still? I couldn’t remember. Damn it, what was wrong with me?
The water stopped running in the bathroom. Crispin opened the door and came out. “Did you lose something?”
Just my mind, I thought. Out loud I said, “My cell phone.”
He frowned, thinking. “I remember weapons, but not a phone.”
“I thought you didn’t remember last night.”
“I remember parts, so you’re right, maybe there was a phone. I’ll help you look for it.” He came to kneel by me. It was too close after last night, and we were both too nude for comfort, but I needed the help. Was it silly not to want to be this close to him naked? Silly or not, it made me uncomfortable. Did he really think I’d rolled him on purpose? Did he really think I’d done the equivalent of metaphysical rape? He’d said it, but he didn’t seem that upset by it. I’d threatened to kill people for less; hell, I had killed people for less.
“You know, you could look more effectively if you had both hands free,” Crispin said.
“The gun makes me feel better,” I said.
“And the cross in the same hand?” he asked.
“The chain broke.”
He stopped rummaging through the clothes to look thoughtful again. “You jerked it off and threw it away.”
“I wouldn’t do that.”
He shrugged, then winced. “You did it.” Then he looked at me a little harder. Those strange blue eyes studied me. “You don’t remember everything, do you?”
I debated on what to admit, but finally went for the truth. “I remember it breaking, but not who did it.”
“You did it, and that charm of yours, too.”
“Charm,” I said, “what charm?”
He looked at my face like he was trying to see through me, then finally said, “This charm.” He held his left arm out to me. At first I didn’t understand, and then I saw the burn in his arm. It was a circle with an animal in the middle of it, done a little soft the way brands get most of the time. I peered at it, getting closer to the skin of his arm. I thought at first it was Cerberus, the dog that guarded Hades in Greek myth, but the animal had five heads. Cerberus only had three. Then I saw, or thought I saw, stripes on the animal. It was a tiger, a tiger with five heads.
He’d said it was my charm that had done it. I stared at the mark on his arm and didn’t know what he was talking about. I reached out toward the brand, stopping just short of touching it. Something stirred in my mind. Was it a memory? Was he right? Had I done this?
I tried to remember. Tried to bring that nebulous thought to the front of my head, but it was like this darkness. There was nothing there to remember. Crispin was a stranger to me. Was he lying? I needed Jason to wake up. I needed someone I knew and trusted. Shit. Something was wrong with me. That much I knew. But I didn’t know what was wrong, or why I couldn’t figure anything out. It was…wrong, too. The fact that I couldn’t figure out what was wrong. That was a clue. I knew it was, but it was as if my brain wouldn’t, or couldn’t, make sense of it.
Crispin growled low in his bare chest. “I smell wolves.”
A second later I felt the energy of them coming down the hallway, but I knew the taste of this energy. I reached out, and