Blood Noir - Laurell K. Hamilton [20]
He gave me another of those looks that said I was being either naïve or obtuse. Since I wasn’t being either on purpose, I didn’t know what he meant.
“Don’t give me that look, Jason. I honestly don’t know what you mean.”
It was his turn to frown. “You don’t, do you?”
“No, I don’t.” I couldn’t help but sound grumpy.
“What do you consider sexual contact, Anita?”
“I don’t know, sex.”
“Anita, I’ve seen Asher feed on Nathaniel. Hell, I’ve had him feed on me. You’d have to be a hell of a lot more homophobic than either Nathaniel or me not to understand that when Asher feeds, it’s sexual.”
One of Asher’s abilities was to make his bite orgasmic. It wasn’t just mind tricks either. It was like a special ability. When he’d been a bad little vampire he’d used that ability to get money, land, protection from his victims. People had begged him for one more night, even when they knew it would kill them.
“I know what Asher can do, better than you do, Jason.”
“Oh, geez, I’m an idiot. How could I forget that?” He hugged me. “I’m sorry, Anita, I’m so sorry.”
Asher and I had had sex and blood alone for the first and only time. He’d nearly killed me with pleasure, because I asked him to. Begged him to. We weren’t allowed to be alone anymore, because I’d admitted to Jean-Claude that I still craved what we’d done. Of all of Jean-Claude’s vampires, Asher was the one I feared the most. Because he was the one who made me want him to do deadly things to me.
Jason hugged me and said, “I’m scared and that’s making me stupid. I’m sorry.”
The pilot’s voice came over the speakers. It made me jump and make that girl eep. Jason kissed my forehead.
“We’re about to land, Ms. Blake, Mr. Schuyler. If you could take your seats, that’d be good.”
“I’m okay, Jason, neither of us is at our best.”
“Forgive me.”
“Nothing to forgive,” I said.
Jason nodded, but not like he believed it. I wasn’t used to him being like this, emotional, forgetful. His father was dying. His mother was blackmailing him, emotionally. I guess he was entitled to be a little off his game.
I tightened my grip on the seat and his hand. I’d be better when we landed. It would all be better when we landed. I tried to believe that, but part of me knew if Jason was already having problems, it was only going to get worse.
How did I end up holding his hand for this? Oh, right, Nathaniel volunteered me. I was so going to make him pay for this. The plane bounced a little on the runway, and I gasped a little. But we were on the ground. Things were looking up, at least for me.
9
I SAT IN my swivel seat for a second relearning how to breathe and fighting down the nausea. I told my stomach to stop being such a baby. We were on the ground, for God’s sake. I could always insist on renting a car for the ride home—though I knew I wouldn’t. I’d never be able to live with myself if I let my fear get that much of an upper hand. Fear was like cancer in remission. If you gave in to it, even by an inch, it would flare up again and eat you alive.
Jason stopped at the open door and looked back at me. “You are coming, right?”
I nodded. The nausea was past. I could breathe again. It was cool. Okay, that was a lie, but it was the best I could do.
Jason came back to stand and look down at me. I couldn’t quite read his expression. “It really scared the shit out of you to do this, didn’t it?”
I shook my head, then shrugged. I finally said in a voice that was way too breathy for comfort, “The runway is kinda small, don’t you think?”
He bent down and kissed my forehead again.
I looked up at him. “What was that for?”
“Being brave,” he said, and he looked serious when he said it. He offered me his hand.
There was a time when I wouldn’t have taken it, when I would have seen it as a sign of weakness, but I’d grown up a little since then.
I took his hand. He squeezed it and gave me a smile. This smile was one of the reasons I was on the damn plane—the smile that said he understood how much it had cost me, and that he understood me in a way that a lot of people didn’t. We would