Blown for Good - Marc Morgan Headley [159]
“I want you to come back.” she says. “COB wants you to come back! He said that if you came back that you would not be in trouble. You did not do anything wrong. It was the guys that took you off post that screwed up. All the guys involved are in big trouble for pissing you off and letting you leave. COB talked to Jenny Devocht and told her that she was to get you back by any means necessary. The whole thing was a giant screw up. He could not believe that you had sold those projectors and that they were throwing them away and somehow you were selling them for tons of money. He said you are going to get all the people you need, the money you need, everything. He has ordered that the Systems department be manned up right away and that anything you need, you get. ”
“Claire, you dream,” I start in. “That is exactly why I am not coming back. If Dave Miscavige has ordered all that, it is a sure sign that it will never get done. That in fact guarantees it won’t ever get done. Go ahead, think about all the hundreds and hundreds of things he has ordered to get done. That is why nothing ever gets done. Tomorrow he will order another area manned up with people and that will cross order Systems getting manned up! It is the same story. Dave orders it, it does not get done, people get sent to the Rehabilitation Project Force for not doing it and now we have even less people around to get all of Dave’s orders done. You know I cannot believe that I ever stayed there that long. After a few days of sleeping and proper food, I feel like I have come out of a trance. You would have to experience it to understand what I am talking about. I have literally woken up! Everything is so clear to me now. I was unable to leave that place for fifteen years and the only thing holding me there was that I was told that if I left, all these bad things would happen to me, I would not be able to get a job, I would be a bum, I would end up on the street, I would get mugged, you name it. Well I left. And what happened, I have been sleeping and eating. I am working and making more in one hour than I was making in a week. Yeah it is really terrible on the outside!”
“Well, what about us?” Claire is crying now. “You have to come back. Everyone is saying that Systems will be manned up in the next week. They already have people lined up to go in there and it is really going to happen this time!”
“You know I love you more than anything else, but that is part of the trap.” As the words are coming out of my mouth I am realizing more and more how this has kept me there all these years. “If you and I had never met, I would have left years ago. I only stayed because I loved you and would never do anything to hurt you and just wanted us to be together forever and be happy. We were never together and when we were, it was for minutes at a time. I could not take it any longer. I was not there for me and I was not happy in any way whatsoever. You were not happy either. You will see, Systems is NOT going to be manned up. Nothing that Dave says is going to get done, and I won’t be gotten back. If they were going to get me back, they would have done so already. I have been watching this TV show, they say if you don’t find the people in the first 48 hours, it ain’t going to happen. 48 Hours. Don’t the security guys at the base have that same rule? If they don’t recover the person in the first two days after they blow, they don’t come back. Now I know why. It takes a few days for the spell of that place to wear off. After two proper nights of sleep and two days of proper nourishing food, that’s it, they cannot lie to you anymore.” Now I start to get emotional.
“I don’t know what I am gonna do. I want you to come back. I love you so much,” Claire cries.
“Well, I will never come back to that prison. Ever. Never. Never Ever. Never. Never. Not gonna happen! I am just not going to do it. I have tasted real freedom and once you taste that, you can never go back to that place and be a prisoner again. No matter what. I am sorry.