Blue Belle - Andrew Vachss [47]
She took another drag.
"My father never much bothered with me. Once in a while, I'd do something to make him notice me. Pay some attention to me. He didn't care if I did my homework, but he had to have his coffee just so: dark coffee with a big dollop of cream across the top; he never mixed it.
"I talked back to him once. He grabbed my arm, pulled off his belt to give it to me. Sissy jumped in between us, kitchen knife in her hand. The devil was in her face—you could see it. You never put a hand on that child, she told him.
"He backed off. Told her I had it coming, but he wouldn't look her in the face. Sissy said if I had something coming she'd be the one to give it to me. Go ahead, my father said, give it to her.
"Sissy ripped the belt out of his hands, dragged me outside to the back. You better yell now, she told me. Loud! She whipped me something fierce that time. Brought me back inside by the hand, told me to get to work on my chores and keep my mouth shut. My father was watching us when we came in. Sissy went back in the bedroom. I saw her taking one of her nightgowns out of her drawer. My father went back there too."
She drew on the cigarette again, the flame close to her hand.
"My father was real drunk one day. Late in the afternoon, swamp shadows across the back of the house. I heard him fighting with Sissy when I came back home. I swear I'll kill you, Sissy told him. He just laughed at her. Slapped her hard across the face. I went after him. He threw me off, but I got up again. Sissy and me fought him until he was out of wind. He just lay there on the floor, looking up at us. I'll be back tonight, he told Sissy, I'll be back, and I'll take what's mine.
"He staggered out the door. Sissy grabbed me, took me to the back of the house. Your time has come, she told me. She took out a suitcase. I didn't even know she had one. Put all your clothes in this, she told me. Don't argue. I helped her fill it up. I thought we were going to run away together. We snuck out the back, into the swamp. Sissy showed me a marker on a cypress tree, where she'd cut it with her knife. She gave me a shovel and told me to dig. Deep. I found an old mason jar, wax–sealed. Found two more. Sissy broke the jars open. There was near a thousand dollars in the jars."
Belle yelped—the cigarette had burned into her fingers. I held out the ashtray and she dropped it in, put her fingers in her mouth for a second to suck on them.
"Sissy sat me down at the table. He'll be back in a couple of hours, she said. You take that suitcase and get into the swamp. I'll fix the boat so he can't go after you. You take the back trail all the way through, to where it catches the highway. The late bus to town comes past there about nine—you got plenty of time to make it."
Belle's face was wet with tears, but her voice was the same quiet whisper.
"Where am I going? I asked her.
"You go to the bus station. Take a Greyhound north, and don't stop until you're out of this state. Go north and keep going, Belle, she told me. You're going to be on your own.
"I didn't want to go—I didn't understand. Sissy wouldn't listen to me. You're grown now, she said. Almost fifteen years old. I held him back as long as I could, baby, but now your time has come. You got to mind me, Belle, she said. This one last time. You got to mind me—do what I say. She took her nightgowns out of the drawer, threw them in the suitcase too. Your nightgowns …I said. I won't be needing them anymore, she told me. I think I knew then. For the first time."
Belle was crying now, working hard to keep her voice