Bone in the Throat - Anthony Bourdain [66]
Tommy didn't know what to say, what the right answer was going to be. He tried to read Danny's expression and saw nothing that would be of any help. So he told the truth. "He offered. I didn't take it . . . Nothing personal... I mean I didn't mean anything by it . . . I just . . . I just thought . . . I didn't know what was gonna happen. It was a favor. They asked me to do a favor so I did the favor. I didn't expect any money, so I didn't take it."
"That's what I heard," said Danny. "So . . . you haven't changed your mind about nothin' . . . You ain't comin' in with your uncle, is that right?"
"Well..." said Tommy, not wanting to say anything to offend Danny or implicate Sally in some breach of protocol.
"You don't want to come in with him, that's your own business. I respect that. You do your own thing, that's fine with me. It's fine with everybody. Nobody's gonna tell you do something you don't wanna do. You wanna be a regular jerk, that's fine. And I don't mean that in a bad way . . . y'unnerstan'."
Danny took a paper bag out of his pocket and began to sprinkle bread crumbs around for the pigeons. None came.
"I used to keep pigeons," he said. "I had my own coop up onna roof a my buildin ."
"I remember," said Tommy. "When I was a kid. My mother was always bitchin' 'cause they'd crap on her laundry."
"Well, a lotta time gone by since then. I got responsibilities now. Things I gotta take care. I gotta see that things that get done, that they get done a certain way, that nobody makes a mistake that's gonna cause any other persons to get hurt. Now, I like your Uncle Sally, we been friends a long time . . . but, I just wanna make sure, for his sake you unnerstan', that maybe he didn't make a mistake without knowin' it. That's what I'm tryin' to find out."
"What do you mean?" asked Tommy innocently.
"Well, the fact he used you . . . I just wanna make sure. Just wanna talk to you, make sure he didn't make a mistake."
Tommy tried to look shocked, even offended.
"I mean, you're a grown man, now, right, Tommy. And you still don't want nothin' to do with us, right?"
"It's nothin' personal, Danny," said Tommy. "It's just, just. . . there's other things I wanna do with my life."
"I mean, I been thinkin', talkin' to some people . . . I hope you don't hold no kinda a grudge what happened to your father. I hope you don't hold nothin' against nobody. There was nothin anybody coulda done about that, I hope you know that, right?"
"I don't know what happened . . . " said Tommy, surprised at the mention of his father. "He was just gone one day. That's all. . ."
"Well. . . you know . . . and I'm telling you this straight, what happened to your old man had nothin' to do with anybody, with anybody you know. Just so you got that straight in yer mind. I just wanna know you ain't holdin' no grudge against nobody else. You don't have no grudge or nothin' do you, Tommy?"
Tommy was confused. "No, no, no. Not at all. My father did what he did. Something happened, he knew it could happen and it happened."
"So, that didn't have nothin' to do, you not wantin' to come in with your uncle?" said Danny, looking at him.
"No," said Tommy "It was a girl, actually."
This seemed to take Danny by surprise. He laughed uproariously. "A girl . . . A girl!? What, some chick tell you she ain't gonna put out for you, you keep bouncin' around with your friends? You let some broad pussywhip you inta leavin' your friends, your neighborhood, people love you, take care of you your whole life? I don't believe it . . . It hadda be somethin' else." "
It wasn't just that," said Tommy. "It was a lotta things. Sally got me that job out in the restaurant that time and I really liked it. It made me feel good. I like what I'm doing . . . It's my thing. My own thing, not somebody else's. Nothin' to do with anybody. No bad feelings."
"How about Sally?" Danny asked carefully. "How you feel about him?"
That was a tough one. Danny was Sally's friend,