Bones in London - Edgar Wallace [8]
“By Jove, dear old Fred,” he babbled, “it’s good of you, old fellow – really good of you! Business, my jolly old shipowner, waits for no man. Ali, my cheque book!”
“A moment – just a moment, dear Mr Bones,” begged Fred. “You don’t mind my calling you by the name already famous in the City?”
Bones looked dubious.
“Personally, I prefer Tibbetts,” said Fred.
“Personally, dear old Fred, so do I,” admitted Bones.
“I’ve come on a curious errand,” said Fred in such hollow tones that Bones started. “The fact is, old man, I’m–”
He hung his head, and Bones laid a sympathetic hand on his shoulder.
“Anybody is liable to get that way, my jolly old roysterer,” he said. “Speakin’ for myself, drink has no effect upon me – due to my jolly old nerves of iron an’ all that sort of thing.”
“I’m ashamed of myself,” said Fred.
“Nothing to be ashamed of, my poor old toper,” said Bones honestly in error. “Why, I remember once–”
“As a businessman, Mr Tibbetts,” said Fred bravely, “can you forgive sentiment?”
“Sentiment! Why, you silly old josser. I’m all sentiment, dear old thing! Why, I simply cry myself to sleep over dear old Charles What’s-his-name’s books!”
“It’s sentiment,” said Fred brokenly. “I just can’t – I simply can’t part with those two ships I sold you.”
“Hey?” said Bones.
“They were your uncle’s, but they have an association for me and my brother which it would be – er – profane to mention. Mr Tibbetts, let us cry off our bargain.”
Bones sniffed and rubbed his nose.
“Business, dear old Fred,” he said gently. “Bear up an’ play the man, as dear old Francis Drake said when they stopped him playin’ cricket. Business, old friend. I’d like to oblige you, but–”
He shook his head rapidly
Mr Fred slowly produced his cheque book and laid it on the desk with the sigh of one who was about to indite his last wishes.
“You shall not be the loser,” he said, with a catch in his voice, for he was genuinely grieved. “I must pay for my weakness. What is five hundred pounds?”
“What is a thousand, if it comes to that, Freddy?” said Bones. “Gracious goodness, I shall be awfully disappointed if you back out – I shall be so vexed, really.”
“Seven hundred and fifty?” asked Fred, with pleading in his eye.
“Make it a thousand dear old Fred,” said Bones; “I can’t add up fifties.”
So “in consideration” (as Fred wrote rapidly and Bones signed more rapidly) “of the sum of one thousand pounds (say £1,000), the contract as between &c., &c.,” was cancelled, and Fred became again the practical man of affairs.
“Dear old Fred,” said Bones, folding the cheque and sticking it in his pocket, “I’m goin’ to own up – frankness is a vice with me – that I don’t understand much about the shippin’ business. But tell me, my jolly old merchant, why do fellers sell you ships in the mornin’ an’ buy ’em back in the afternoon?”
“Business, Mr Tibbetts,” said Fred, smiling, “just big business.”
Bones sucked an inky finger.
“Dinky business for me, dear old thing,” he said. “I’ve got a thousand from you an’ a thousand from the other Johnny who sold me two ships. Bless my life an’ soul–”
“The other fellow,” said Fred faintly – “a fellow from the United Merchant Shippers?”
“That was the dear lad,” said Bones.
“And has he cried off his bargain, too?”
“Positively!” said Bones. “A very, very nice fellow. He told me I could call him Joe – jolly old Joe!”
“Jolly, old Joe!” repeated Fred mechanically, as he left the office, and all the way home he was saying “Jolly old Joe!”
HIDDEN TREASURE
Mrs Staleyborn’s first husband was a dreamy Fellow of a Learned University. Her second husband had begun life at the bottom of the ladder as a three-card trickster, and by strict attention to business and the exercise of his natural genius, had attained to the proprietorship of a bucket-shop.
When Mrs Staleyborn was Miss Clara Smith, she had been housekeeper to Professor Whitland, a biologist who discovered her indispensability, and was only vaguely aware of the social gulf which yawned between the youngest son of the late Lord Bortledyne and the only daughter of