Bonnie - Iris Johansen [72]
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“WE’VE BEEN DRIVING IN circles.” Eve broke the tense silence that had stretched between her and Danner for the past two hours. She was gazing out of the window of the truck. “Just where are we going, Danner?”
“I have to be sure we’re not followed. A diversionary tactic,” Danner said. “I’m not afraid of the police. I can handle them. But you came to the church with John. He mustn’t be part of this.”
“Because you don’t want him to know what you are?”
He looked at her. “Are you trying to make me angry? You can’t do it by throwing John in my face. He’s always been the best part of my life.”
“I know you loved him.”
“Not past tense. I do love him.”
“He loved you, too.” She paused and then said deliberately, “Of course, he didn’t know you were a murderer.”
“Yes, he did. I killed in the military, and I never tried to hide it from him. I served my country, and he was proud of me.”
“But were you proud?”
“I served my country.”
“You didn’t answer me.”
“I don’t have to answer you. Why should I? I won’t make excuses. I don’t have to talk to you at all.”
She ignored the reply, and went on, “You might have felt like a patriot for a while but that changed, didn’t it? Your psychiatrist who first examined you after you came back from Syria said that something happened that tipped the scales and sent you off the track. What was it?”
“Why are you asking me all these questions? What do you care? That has nothing to do with what’s happening now. Do you think that we’re going to form some kind of bond? You’ll be disappointed. I can’t afford to do that.”
She nodded. “I could have formed a bond with the man who came to see me and Bonnie when she was just a baby. I felt sorry for you. I wanted to help you. All I saw in you was sorrow, not rage. What happened, Danner?”
“Shut up. I don’t need your help. I didn’t then, I don’t now. You’re the one who needs help.”
Her gaze searched his face. “Why, Danner?”
“Can’t you see? Are you stupid? You’re sitting there, with your hands tied, and you know what I am.” His gaze searched her face. “And you keep asking me questions. Why aren’t you afraid?”
“Do you want me to be afraid?”
“I want you to stop asking me questions.”
“You don’t have to answer them.” She looked down at the ropes binding her wrists in front of her. “No, I’m not afraid. But being tied does make me feel helpless. I suppose that increases your sense of power.”
“Yeah, it does.”
She smiled faintly. “I think you’re lying. I believe it makes you uneasy to see me like this.”
“Believe what you like.” He was silent a moment. “Why aren’t you afraid? I did kill Jacobs, you know.”
“I know. And you would have killed my friend, Catherine. Why?”
“Demon. The moment I saw her, I knew she was a Delilah.”
“I don’t know about Jacobs, but Catherine is no demon. I’m not sure there are demons.”
“Then you’re a fool,” he said harshly. “They’re all around us. Look away from them, and they’ll have you.” He tore his gaze away from her. “You have to fight them all the time.”
“And what would they do if they caught you?”
“They’d devour my soul,” he said simply.
“And is my Bonnie a demon?”
He stiffened. “I don’t want to talk about the little girl.”
“Father Barnabas said you’ve never spoken of her by name, that you only talk about a little girl. That little girl is Bonnie, isn’t she?”
“I won’t talk about the little girl.”
“Why not?”
“Be quiet.”
She was disturbing him. His hands were clenched on the steering wheel, and there was a flush burnishing his cheeks. The mere mention of “the little girl” had done this to him.
“I’ll be quiet for now.” She looked away from him. “But you’ll have to answer me sometime, Danner.”
“No, I won’t. I’ll shut you up.”
“By killing me?”
“I don’t want to talk about it.”
Change the subject. “Where are you taking me, Danner?”
“To the place.”
“What place?”
“Her place.”
She inhaled sharply. Dear God, was he speaking of the place where he’d hidden Bonnie’s body? Her heart was starting to pound. After all the years