Bonnie - Iris Johansen [91]
He wasn’t sure. It had been an impulse. “Nothing carnal … I don’t think.” Though his body had responded the minute he had touched her. Block it. This wasn’t the moment.
Something else was coming that was far more important.
And where the hell had that last thought come from?
Stop. Rest. Sleep.
“Relax. I just want to hold you.”
She was still taut and resisting. Then she was suddenly relaxing, her body flowing into his.
That heat and hardening again.
Block it. Not now.
“Why, Gallo?” she muttered.
“I don’t know. I just want to hold you. I want you to be calm and … with me.” His hand was gently stroking her hair. “Your hair smells good.”
“You’re a little crazy, Gallo,” she muttered.
“So I’ve been told.”
“I can’t remember anyone ever wanting to just … hold me.”
“And considering the fact that you’re one totally desirable lady, you may never experience it again.”
She was silent a moment. “This is important to you, isn’t it?”
“It’s important.”
She shrugged. “I don’t understand it, but I guess it’s okay.”
“Even though you believe I’m a bit wacko.”
“People need different things at different times.”
“Close your eyes, Catherine.”
“They are closed.”
And he could feel the muscles of her body relaxing. “Forty-five minutes, Catherine.”
“You already said that.”
But she was quiet now, and his own body was still and no longer needing her. He could feel her strength but no disturbance. That was how it should be. That was how he knew instinctively that it had to be.
He could go on now.…
* * *
IT WAS HOT IN THE DARKNESS and he could smell his own sweat.
He opened his eyes and saw the manacles fastened to the wall and the dirty straw on the stone floor.
His heart jerked in panic.
He knew this place, this cell. Prison. North Korea.
The pain.
“I’m sorry. It will go away. I’ve never tried to do this kind of dream, and I’m not very good at it. I brought you in at the wrong time.”
Bonnie. Red curls shining under the light flowing into the darkness from the barred window, wearing jeans and a Bugs Bunny T-shirt. Sitting beside him in the darkness. As she had visited him all those other times during the seven years he was in prison.
And the pain was suddenly gone.
She smiled. “I told you so. The stink of this place is bothering you. I can take that away, too.”
“I thought … Oh God, I thought I was out of here.”
“And you are. I’m sorry. It won’t be for long.” Her smile faded. “I didn’t want to bring you back here, but it was the only way that I could be sure of reaching you. It was the only strong familiar time we shared. I had to be sure that I was here with you quickly. But this is only a dream. That time is all over. It’s only a dream.”
He drew a deep breath as the panic almost faded. “Or was that other time a dream, and is this reality?”
She smiled. “I promise you.”
Peace. Love. Bonnie.
A dream, just a dream of that nightmare place, and even the nightmare was gradually being shaded with strands of light. He could almost hear the sound of the songs she used to sing to him in this hellhole. “I thought I’d killed you, Bonnie. It wasn’t true, was it?”
“No, I tried to tell you. But you wouldn’t listen. I couldn’t get through to you.” She smiled. “All you wanted to do was jump off that cliff.”
“And you wouldn’t let me.”
“No, that’s never the way. It messes up everything.” She leaned back against the wall and looked around the cell. She whispered, “This is a terrible place. When I found you here, it made me so sad. You were so brave and strong, and they were hurting you. I wanted so to help you. I wanted you to know you weren’t alone. I wanted you to believe that someone cared about you.”
He remembered the dreams of Bonnie that had kept away the pain and made him fight to live. “You did help me.”
A brilliant smile lit her face. “I’m glad. I thought I did.” The next moment, the smile had vanished. “I’m slipping away. I have to talk quickly.”
“Slipping away?”
“I’m usually pretty good at this dream stuff, but I’m having to divide up my concentration now. I can probably only hold on for