Bonnie - Iris Johansen [94]
He was gazing at her in bewilderment. “You’re joking with me.”
“Purely involuntary. I admit to being a little shaken, and that’s how I generally handle it.”
“You’re frightened,” he said slowly.
“You caught me off guard. A knife usually has that effect on me.”
He was staring at her with an expression that had an odd element of regret. “I do have to kill you. I can’t do anything else. You didn’t seem afraid before. I was … surprised.”
“Get over it. As I said, you caught me off guard. This time self-preservation kicked in.” Her lips tightened. “You’re worrying that I’ll break my word about making it easy for you? You’re wondering if it’s worth it to you to wait and take me to where you want to … do it.”
“Yes.”
“I won’t lie to you. I’m not afraid to die. Sometimes there seems to be more waiting for me there than here. But that’s only sometimes. Self-preservation, Danner. If I can live, I’ll do it. But you won’t have to worry about my being difficult for you until after you’ve taken me to where I can find my daughter.” She met his eyes. “I’m not as sure as you are that she wants what you want. I’ll have to see.”
He didn’t speak for a moment. “You’re … honest. I knew that from the moment I met you when you were just a kid. You were pregnant and alone, and you were still fighting and telling the world to get out of your way.”
“I wasn’t entirely alone. There are good people in this world, Danner. I thought you were one of them. You would have helped me if I’d asked, wouldn’t you?”
“You didn’t ask. You didn’t want me. You didn’t want John.”
“Is that why you killed my daughter?” Her hands clenched. “You did kill her, didn’t you? Tell me.”
He didn’t answer. “I thought you were right, that John would want to be free if he came back from Korea. I was glad you didn’t want him to marry you just because you were having his kid. I would have helped you, but I didn’t want you hanging on John, keeping him back.”
Memories of that time were bombarding her. Nights of passion with John Gallo. The first moment she’d seen Bonnie at the hospital. This was becoming incredibly hard.
“I never wanted to hurt John,” she said unevenly. “But I did hurt him by keeping my daughter to myself. I never realized that until later. I was given a special gift, and I wouldn’t share it. Did you realize that I’d hurt him and wanted to strike back? I just don’t understand.”
“I’d never let you hurt John,” Danner said roughly. “I’d never let anyone hurt him.”
She’d struck a nerve. “Yet you’re doing it now. Don’t you know how John feels about what you’re doing? He loves you, and he can’t understand what you’ve become.”
“I know.” Danner’s voice was low and threaded with pain. “But I have to do it. I have to give the child what she wants so that she’ll go away and stop the torment.”
“Bonnie,” Eve said between set teeth. “I’ve told you—” It didn’t matter what he called her. Why argue with him? “You’ve told me yourself that John is probably right behind us. What will you do when he catches up? You may have to kill him to keep the demons away.”
“No, I won’t do that. He won’t catch up. We’re almost there.”
She jumped at the sentence. “Where?”
“Providence.” His lips twisted. “Did you think you were tricking me? It doesn’t matter if you know. Not now.” He turned and started up the trail. “Come along, Eve. By this time tomorrow it will be over.”
Providence. The only Providence she knew was in Rhode Island. Was it a real place they were going or a figment of Danner’s imagination? Or was it a term he was using to describe the situation? The last few minutes should have taught her how unstable he could be. Providence. Truth or fantasy, it was the only clue, the only weapon she had.
If she could find a way of using it.
* * *