Boogeymen - Mel Gilden [43]
“Working,” the computer said.
Wesley stared at the slot in horror.
“What the hell kind of computer voice was that?” La Forge said.
Wesley swallowed and said, “That was the voice of a Boogeyman.”
They watched the food slot produce another plate of Denebian Slime Devil ŕ la Tellarite. La Forge ran for the master situation monitor while he called for his staff.
Chapter Nine
THE MOOD IN the conference lounge was glum, and Picard saw no reason to lighten it. For the tenth time since sitting down at the head of the table, he punched the ready button on his memo terminal. The Starfleet logo faded from the screen and was replaced by the word “Working.” Picard said, “Report status of Enterprise systems.” On the screen the words “One moment please” appeared, and then gibberish rolled across it. Picard was not surprised. He’d gotten gibberish the other nine times, too. Gibberish was the language of the day all over the ship. “Cancel,” Picard said. The computer worked to the extent that the screen went blank and the Starfleet logo came up again.
Picard looked around at his senior officers and said, “Mr. La Forge, what is Mr. Data’s condition?”
“He seems to be suffering from a minor breakdown of all his systems. His efficiency is down twenty-two percent, his operating temperature is up four degrees Celsius. The activity in his positronic brain is erratic, but my training is in propulsion and ships systems. If I could fix him, I’d be Dr. Soong, but I’m not.”
“Can he repair himself?”
“Data seems convinced that he can. His maintenance programs act like our white blood cells; they seek out enemy code and destroy it. Assuming, of course, that his maintenance programs have been designed to fight this particular enemy.”
“Is there a chance they haven’t?”
“It’s a big universe, sir.”
Picard knew that La Forge was right. He nodded philosophically and said, “Dr. Crusher, do you have an opinion?”
Dr. Crusher shrugged and made a motion of dismissal. She said, “Data’s an android and even further outside my specialty than he is outside Lieutenant Commander La Forge’s. But I’ve given him every test that seems relevant. If he were human, I’d say he had the flu.”
“Flu?” Riker said.
“Influenza. A group of very contagious viruses that ran rampant through human history. Sometimes the sickness caused by a virus was no worse than a bad cold. But it could kill, too.” Dr. Crusher smiled. “Some early virologists called a virus bad news wrapped in protein.”
Riker said, “How is Data’s problem related to our computer problem?”
La Forge spoke with his hands as well as his mouth. For him, problems had shapes and sizes. He said, “It’s pretty obvious that Data was contaminated when he plugged into the ship’s computer to run a diagnostic. I’d say that whatever has Data down is also the cause of the problem we have with the ship’s computer.”
Riker said, “Then if Data’s maintenance programs are able to cure him, all we have to do is load those programs into the ship’s computer.”
“It might work,” La Forge allowed, “but we’d be taking quite a chance. First, Data’s maintenance programs were designed just for him and his positronic brain. They probably won’t work inside the ship’s computer. Catching the flu is easy. Curing it is a much more sophisticated operation. Second, if we plug Data into the ship’s computer again, he might pick up another dose of whatever it is. Next time it might be fatal.”
Picard slapped the table and said, “I hope we never become desperate enough to test Mr. La Forge’s theories. The fact that none of you seems to have noticed is that Mr. Data was infected twice.”
“Sir?” La Forge said.
Picard realized that he and Wesley were the only ones at the table who had observed Data both plugging into the holo-computer and then into the real computer. He shared that information with the others.
Surprised, Wesley said, “Of course. Data had forgotten Professor Baldwin before Geordi ran the diagnostic on him. That’s why we ran the diagnostic on him.”
Riker said, “Data’s second infection seems to have a different