Book of Days_ A Novel - James L. Rubart [80]
"Do you still think about your first husband?"
"All the time." Tricia patted Cameron's hand. "But the pain is muted."
Mute his pain? Sounded wonderful. But how long would it take to get there? So far the pain of losing Jessie still screamed in his ear every day.
"What about Taylor? Ever married before you?"
"Yes."
She paused so long Cameron thought that was all she would say.
"He was married at twenty-three. They were perfect for each other. It only lasted two years."
"Why?"
"He was widowed as well." Tricia looked up toward the ivy crawling over the redwood trellis and covered her mouth. "Whew, I don't think about the accident too much anymore." She blinked rapidly.
"Accident?"
She stood, pulled the lavender scarf off her head, and moved over to the rosebushes next to the trellis. "Taylor blames himself for her death. He's never come right out and said that, but I can tell that he does. I can tell." She plucked at the roses that were encroaching on her side of the bench. "He's never told me why he feels that way. I stopped asking a few years ago."
"What was her name?"
"Annie."
Window-crank Annie. One mystery solved, three thousand to go.
"He changed after Annie died. There was a big group of us that hung out together. Kirk and Arnold, and Annie and me, and at least ten others. Taylor was our leader and had a spontaneous streak that kept us all in trouble most of the time. After two or three months, the playful part came back but the thoughtful Taylor was gone. At least on the outside. We all tried to talk to him about Annie's death, but he wouldn't speak about it. Ever.
"We'd see him sometimes, sitting in the field where he proposed to Annie, weeping. But around us it was only jokes. He worked so hard at covering up his pain, at some point he couldn't even get past the veneer himself." She smiled. "And now God has brought you and Ann into his life to stir it all up again."
"That's a good thing?"
"It's wonderful. You have to clean out a wound before it can heal properly."
Cameron waited for her to finish deadheading the roses and sit back down before he spoke. "Can I ask you a personal question?"
"Yes, of course."
"Does it bother you that Taylor keeps so many secrets from you?"
Tricia's smile was sad as she shook her head. "No. Because I believe it is a divine plan that I am in Taylor's life the way I am. And I also know beyond a shadow of doubt that he loves me. Deeply." She patted Cameron's hand again. "And I love him back the same way. Some day all secrets will be revealed."
"Does Taylor know something about the Book of Days he's not saying?"
"If I were in Las Vegas with millions to burn—which I don't have—and I were a betting woman—which I'm not—I would have to put my money on the answer being yes."
"What does he know?"
"I haven't a clue." She shook her head.
Cameron hadn't planned on interviewing Tricia about the Book of Days. He assumed Taylor would block any attempt, so he'd put little hope in the idea. But now that he was here, and she answered every question so openly, he'd begun to think he would get an insight or a clue or at least an indication about the true depth of Taylor's knowledge of the book. Now that it was apparent Cameron would get nothing, frustration swirled around him.
But Tricia could help with another mystery tied to the book.
"Can you tell me about Jason and Taylor? Taylor says Jason's been trying to one-up him since high school."
"Since their junior year." Tricia sighed. "But before that they were best friends. All through grade school and junior high, and through the first two years of high school. The best of pals."
"You've got to be kidding." Cameron snorted out a laugh.
Tricia arched an eyebrow. "That amuses you?"
"These days they'd be the last pair cast