Book of Days_ A Novel - James L. Rubart [94]
"Won't." Ann turned, strode to the car, yanked the door open, and got in.
He ground his teeth together. Nightmare. Wondrous. He couldn't tell which emotion was stronger.
Cameron glanced at Ann as they bumped along the road, his car throwing up clouds of fine brown dust behind him. Was she crying? He couldn't tell with her face turned toward the window. There was no manual in the glove compartment for this kind of problem.
What could he say? "Uh, I think maybe I could feel the same way about you. In fact I'm sure I do, but you're right about my mind. It feels like microscopic drops of acid are being dropped into my mind burning away my memories. And why would you ever want to be with a guy with that problem? And I'm not over Jessie, but I think maybe kinda sorta want to pursue a relationship with you." No, would not happen.
After riding in twenty minutes of silence, Cameron said, "I'm sorry, Ann, I—"
"Forget it. My fault." She turned and gave a big smile that didn't reach her eyes. "We're wrong for each other on so many levels. We couldn't ever be together. But I needed to get what I told you out in the open, but now that it is, I'm truly good. Trust me. You and I as friends is the way it's supposed to be, and it's the way we'll go forward from now on forever and ever, amen."
"What do you mean we couldn't ever be together?"
"You know why."
"Enlighten me."
"My whole life centers around Jesus."
"So."
"Yours doesn't at all. It's not exactly a match made in . . . you know."
Cameron rapped his fingers against his steering wheel. "It never was a problem for Jessie and me."
Ann arched an eyebrow and looked at him. "Oh, really?"
"Yes really. We worked through it."
"No you didn't. You worked through nothing." Ann pulled her knees up to her chest and wrapped her arms around them. "You never saw how much it ate at her, knowing she wouldn't see you in heaven."
"How do you know there is a heaven?"
"Don't change the subject, Cameron."
"How can you be so sure heaven is real?"
Ann's gaze bore into him. "How can you be sure it isn't?"
They rode the rest of the way in silence. Ann was right. Friends only would work. He'd make that work. For both of their sakes.
"So are we still on for tomorrow?" Cameron pulled into the parking lot of Ann's hotel and helped her carry her gear to the trunk of her Prius.
She shut the trunk and smiled. "Sure. I have a little more research to do today, and if I find what I'm looking for, tomorrow I'm going to blow your mind."
CHAPTER 35
Cameron sat in the corner of Java Jump Start just before ten on Monday morning, debating whether to order a third latte or go for straight black drip when the bells on the front door jangled. He looked up. Ann. She swept inside, stopped, and glanced to the left then the right.
When her eyes found him, the corners of her mouth turned up a millimeter. She waltzed toward him, as if she knew without a doubt he'd be sitting there ready to hear what she'd discovered.
She twirled in a tight circle and, while still two paces away, tossed a bundle of papers toward him, spinning them like a Frisbee.
"Hey!" Cameron lifted his coffee and leaned back as the package smacked onto the dark walnut table and slid to a stop with a third of the papers hanging off the edge.
"Time to connect the dots." Ann grinned at him, hands on hips, sunglasses dangling from a cord around her neck.
"Apparently you're providing the pencil?"
"I am, and the pencil is a number ten out of ten. I found what I was looking for. And you will like it. A lot." She bounced on the balls of her feet and rubbed her hands together like she was starting a fire.
He looked back and forth between her and the bundle. "You've found something."
"More than something." She plunked down into the seat next to him. "Open it."
He untied the twine holding the papers together and spread three pamphlets and ten