Book of Sketches - Jack Kerouac [18]
to St Louis in the morning —
he drove to Columbia
Mo. — I drove another 60 mi.
to Boonville — outside
Warrenton he wanted to
show — attendant —
ranout gas — on road —
went 117 M.P.H.!!!
Kansas City Kansas at
noon — I lost dark
glasses in his car — wild
kid — KC washed in
station, spent money
on cokes & crackers
& ice cream — ride
to junction — Two Texas
boys work in car shops
for Santa Fe RR in El
Paso drove me Topeka
— got there just as boys
were coming out of
work in Rocky Mt N C
car shops! — moving —
Then Beryl Schweitzer,
Negro All American back
from Kansas State, drove
me to Manhattan Kans.
— we talked — Then
two cowboys, the driver
14, drove to Riley
on Route 24 — talked
about horses, calves, roping,
drinking, girls, cross country
riding on “Satan” their
unshod bronc — etc. — with
red hankies of cowboys
hanging on dashboard in
old rattly car — cowboy
Sam called my seabag
war bag — ! — at
Riley I despaired, got
truck to junction — sun
going down — 2 boys
who come home from work
drove me to Clay Center,
where I ate tuna in
backyard — & it got
dark, I was souldead,
I wanted to die —
so got poorboy port
wine, then $1.75 hotel
room with fan, sink —
right on tracks of R I R R
or C B Q — slept 12
hour log — washed, shaved,
wrote, ate sardines —
500 miles to Denver, I
have $1.46 — but
feel alive again & even
that I will be saved, i.e.,
I am not a dead duck,
not a criminal, a
bum, an idiot, a fool
— but a great poet
& a good man — &
now that’s settled I
will stop worrying about
my position — & — concentrate
on working for stakes
on Sp. RR so I can go
write in peace, get
my innerworld lifework
underway, Part II,
for Doctor Sax was
certainly part one!
Clay Center Window —
creamy snowy silo rising
Farmers Union CO-OP —
green roof & old gables
(once English style) of
Clay Center RR depot —
redbrick 1-story Plumbing &
Electrical Co. — cars
& small trucks parked
on angle — rickety
brokendown shacks on tracks
— rickety graywood oldhouse
under noble trees, signs
on small barn, weeds, piles
of barrels or bldg. material
in back — someone is hammering
on a plank — W P Stark
Lumber Co. hugetruck backin
in a truckstop across the
tracks — fellow in blue
baseball hat in P&E doorway
is jacking up a car — man
in RR hat & man in Panama
talk & watch — sun’s
coming out — US Royal
Farm Tires sign waves
in breeze — small Farmers
Co Op gas truck went
by — Tourists — Small
liquor store, was once gas
station, where I got wine,
white plaster, white fence,
green lawn, looks like
LA realty office —
music from a restaurant
juke — junkyard in distance
— nobody on street
— everywhere the green
balls of trees over roofs
— last night a thousand
birds from the Plains were
yakking in this town — from
the Plains Clay Center is
a cozy nestled settlement
in the Huge —
It’s the thought of Nin
that makes this trip so
sad — my sister didnt
love me, I didnt know
it —
The drink that’s bitter
going down, & sweet in
memory — Life.
I am now stuck
outside Norton Kan.
with no prospect of
any ride, nightfall,
hunger, thirst, death.
Brierly saved my damned
useless life — I went
to Prairie View Kans. in a
truck, in a vale from behind
where I was, phoned
him collect, he’s sending
— but why make a record,
he’s saving me — he expects
to see me & be all excited
in talk & joy — like I
was — but am I dead?
— I want to say to him
“I dont understand what’s
happening — any more —
I dont understand the
dew — I know there is
no Why but I cant help
it — ” But he saved me
— I went from Clay
Center in a car driven by
blond handsome young
reclamation worker — we
drove 60 miles west to
Beloit — I felt very
happy, the land of Kansas
smiled —
days that start good end
up bad — at Beloit I
got a ride from father &
son (father road
worker, apparently drove
to Missouri to fetch him for
holidays, is married to
‘new wife’) — to a
lone-ass junction at
281 — hot killing sun
— no cars — I thought
I was done for (was,