Brave Story - Miyuki Miyabe [196]
Still, that seemed odd. The half-knitted garments in the basket, and the socks, were all black. Who gives their child black clothes to wear? Of course, her clothes were all black too.
“Excuse me,” Wataru asked when the woman returned. “Would you, by any chance, happen to be a sorcerer?”
The woman stopped. She seemed to be staring at Wataru.
“It’s just that, you’re wearing that hood. Maybe, perhaps, you’re a starseer? Are you doing research out here?”
The hood tilted, as though the woman was looking down at the floor. Then she slowly walked over to the rocking chair, sat, and said in a small voice, “It is perhaps best that you do not know much of me.” Her voice sounded sad, somehow. “It will soon be dawn. Already, the sky in the east grows light. Go to the far side of this woods and you will find a small road that will take you to the town of Tearsheaven. Speak to the mayor there. He shows kindness to travelers upon the road such as yourself.”
“Very well,” Wataru said, bowing his head slightly. “Thank you for everything. I’m sorry to have pried. But, really, I was in quite a fix, so thank you again. I just feel odd not even knowing your name or what you look like, and…”
Quizzically, the woman tilted her head slightly to the side. Then she lifted her white hands and drew back her hood.
Deep inside his heart, Wataru screamed.
Rikako Tanaka!
His father’s lover. The reason his father abandoned Wataru and his mother. The woman who came to their house and said it was all his mother’s fault. The similarity was uncanny. She was ghastly thin.
“Is that better?”
The woman’s voice was soft, gentle. She had not a trace of a smile on her face, and none of Rikako’s arrogance and aggression. But still, the voice sounded so much like hers. It was even possible to imagine that this was what Rikako’s voice sounded like, were she ever to speak softly.
“So long have I worn my clothes of grief, I had forgotten I was even wearing a hood.”
Wataru couldn’t speak. This, he thought, was a good thing. He had no confidence he would be able to say anything useful at the moment.
“Is something wrong? You seem quite startled,” the woman said, taking a half step toward him. Wataru took a step backward.
“My…” the woman put a hand to her cheek. “Have I frightened you, somehow? If that is so, I apologize. But please tell me, why?”
I apologize… Those were words he could never imagine Rikako Tanaka ever saying as long as she lived. This is Vision. This isn’t the real world. She can’t be here.
“I-I’m sorry,” Wataru said, shaking his head. “You look so much like someone I knew, it startled me.”
“I see.” The woman nodded but did not smile, not even a little. It occurred to Wataru that he was looking at a person very deep in grief.
“You said clothes of grief…are you sad?”
The woman quietly walked over to the window and put out the lamp. Then she nodded. “These wetlands, and this lake…are called the Swamp of Grief.”
Even with the lamp out, a dim light came through the window. It was nearly dawn. Wataru walked over to stand by her and look out on the black surface of the muddy lake.
“Only those in the deepest grief are permitted to live here on the shore. When our grief is gone, so too must we leave the swamp. While here, we must wear only clothes of black. When we leave, we throw these clothes into the lake.”
“And you’re not allowed to smile, I take it?”
“That’s right. While we remain.”
“Who decided all this?”
“It is the law in Tearsheaven.”
The woman looked down and rubbed her belly with one hand. “I used to live in town. Perhaps someday I shall return…”
Looking at her hand, something clicked. I don’t believe it. “Are you… pregnant?”
The woman nodded deeper. “Yes…”
Another thing she has in common with Rikako