Brave Story - Miyuki Miyabe [373]
Indeed, the first time the sweet voice had talked to him, Wataru had been living in ignorant bliss, not even knowing about his father and Rikako Tanaka. He had no inkling that the fabric of his daily life was about to be torn in two.
“I pity you, Wataru, I truly do. That is why I wanted to help,” Onba said, her voice suddenly switching back to the little girl.
“Stop!” Wataru yelled suddenly. “Don’t talk to me like that!”
Then Onba began to laugh, her eyes rolling as her voice dropped two octaves. Soon her great mouth was opened wide, bellowing with laughter. “You should know! Why is one person blessed with happiness, while another must know misfortune? Why must you suffer when it is your parents who have failed? Why you? Why not somebody else? Doesn’t it make you angry? Don’t you want to use your rage to undo this injustice?”
Wataru merely shook his head. Onba took one lumbering step forward, closing the distance between them. “We are angry when others are given what is not given to us. We are jealous of what we possess when it is given away to others. Our bellies burn with desire and envy. This is our true nature. The negativity that is me should, by all rights, have been scattered throughout Vision, like the shards of the Mirror of Truth. We could have been broken into countless, harmless fragments living peacefully among the masses. Yet the fools wouldn’t accept the darkness in their own hearts, they wanted it out. They pretended we didn’t belong to them…that they couldn’t see us. Like the Goddess before them, they tried to banish us forever!” The great frog’s voice crescendoed into a primal howl. “Lost, wandering, we fell into the Dark. Yet the Dark gave us strength, and I was born. I returned to Vision.”
So Onba, like the demonkin, had come to Vision from that place, that Dark that hated Vision, and would devour it if it got the chance.
“That is why I wanted someone, a child of man. I belong in your heart. Your heart is my home.” Onba’s eyes stared at Wataru, her head tilting inquisitively. “Were you not my friend? Have you forgotten how much I helped you?”
Wataru tried to control his trembling, but couldn’t. He didn’t know if he was scared or sad. If he was sad, he didn’t know why—perhaps somewhere in his heart he knew, but he couldn’t put it into words. He shook his head, shut his eyes, and clenched his fists. “I didn’t know who you were, really. I didn’t know what you wanted.”
“Who I really am?” Onba’s voice was a low, guttural growl. “I am you. I am that unwanted thing, that dark negativity that crouches, hidden deep inside. It is only because I exist within you that you are able to talk to me in this way.”
Something unwanted inside me? Wataru had never thought about it—he hadn’t really had time. But now that he did, he found that it was there. Deep in his heart, a part of him was furious at his misfortune. A part of him wondered, Why me?
Just like his hate had become a double of himself, walking free, the negativity within Wataru had called out to Onba. She was the manifestation of all that wasn’t wanted, and she was coming home to him.
“Yes, open your eyes. Overturn this world that dealt you your fate. You came here to change your fate? Why not think bigger? Here you are in the tower! Why change only yourself when you could change the entire world?”
“And that’s what you want me to do?”
Onba’s massive head nodded slowly. “Yes, for that is our victory! The victory of everything unwanted, at last!” Words of rage spilled out of her mucusladen mouth. A dull black tongue darted between her lips. “We want. We will have our world. We will be God and make all those who hated us and pushed us away kneel at our feet.”
Ah, so that’s what you want.
“Traveler! I ask you. Do you not wish to destroy the Goddess, and reign together from this Tower of Destiny? Do you not wish