Brave Story - Miyuki Miyabe [68]
“Do you even know what that means?”
“I think I do.”
“You sure?”
“I’ve watched Mom’s soap operas.”
“Hmm. I guess you would have. Of course, that’s about all they do on television.”
His uncle crossed his thick arms. Wataru did the same.
“Did you talk with your mother yet? What did she say?”
“She said she had a fight with Dad. And then she told me he was leaving for a while to get his head screwed on tight. There was no need to worry, she said. He would be home to patch things up soon.”
“So, she didn’t say anything about a divorce?”
“No. Nothing.”
“You didn’t tell her that we talked to your dad on Friday night when I brought you home?”
“I did…but I didn’t tell her Dad said anything about a divorce.” Because I couldn’t say it. “Because I thought it would make her feel sad.”
“Why’s that, Wataru?”
“Because…it doesn’t sound like he’s thinking about changing his mind at all. But Mom thinks he might come back. For sure.”
Uncle Lou nodded. “That’s probably true. And that’s all she said—that she and your dad were just fighting?”
It was all so sudden, she had howled, wringing her frizzled hair.
“Akira has always been that way. He keeps what he thinks to himself, and only says the bare minimum. It drives me crazy. Even the most important things he decides all by himself.”
It was unusual for Wataru’s uncle to call his brother by his first name. When talking to Wataru, he always used “your father.” Wataru’s mom was the same way. Always “your father,” never his name. Wataru had the impression that, when you grew up, that’s the way the world worked. Everyone called each other by their role, never by their name.
For adults, responsibilities and roles were more important than who they were. That was why Wataru did not want to grow up. It was so much easier being a kid. Free.
“So, about your question,” Uncle Lou asked, looking at Wataru’s eyes. “What would you do if your dad loved another woman?”
“What do you mean ‘if’? Isn’t that why Grandma’s so mad?”
“Yeah.”
“Does Dad want to marry her?”
“Get married?? Isn’t once enough?”
“Say, why aren’t you married? I’ve always wondered about that.”
Uncle Lou’s eyes went wide. “What does that have to do with anything?”
Everything, thought Wataru. What was marriage? Why did grown-ups get married? Why did they want to get married again, when they had already been married before? What made them want to do that?
“Well, for one thing, I’m not very good with the ladies.”
“Really? But there are lots of people uglier than you that get married…”
His uncle smiled wryly. “You don’t go easy on a guy, do you?”
Then, as an afterthought, he said, “I think it’s because I’m probably a coward.”
“A coward? Does that mean you’re scared?”
“That’s what it means.”
“But that can’t be true. You’re brave. You’ve even saved so many people’s lives.”
“That’s a different kind of bravery. Totally different.”
Then he rapped Wataru on the head with his knuckles. “I’m just afraid that, if I got married, something like this would happen. That’s what scares me. That’s why I’m not married.”
“‘Something like this’?”
“I mean this—what’s happening right now.” He lifted his hands in a big sweeping motion. “Please don’t make me explain it.”
“You mean like someone else?”
“Yeah…but, Wataru, that’s not the only reason why some marriages fail. That’s not the only thing your mother and father have done wrong.”
“Really?”
Wataru asked a question that had been lingering in the back of his head ever since his father had walked out.
“Then, it has something to do with me too?”
Satoru stiffened noticeably.
“Maybe I wasn’t a good enough kid, maybe that’s why my dad left.”
Uncle Lou began rubbing his hands furiously through his hair. “Why is it always this way? I dig my own grave every time. I always say the wrong thing. Man, I’m so dumb.” He sounded as if he were on the verge of tears.
“Uncle Lou…”
“You haven’t done anything wrong, Wataru. Not a single thing. Your father’s the one who’s wrong here. Saying what he likes, walking out on you. The way he tried to leave was cowardly