Brawn - Laurann Dohner [114]
Her shoulders shook harder as she fought the urge to cry. The pain of her marriage had nearly killed her from the inside out a day at a time but she’d kept hoping she could save it, that Bradley would love her if she just tried harder. She’d been young, stupid and naWve. She wasn’t any of those things anymore.
She might love Brawn but he only wanted the baby. She was sure he’d try harder than Bradley had to make it work between them but she knew better than to hope. She’d been there and done that. The pain would be much greater by the time it ended. A life without Brawn in it…having to face the day when he’d be in someone else’s bed, touching another woman… Sobs racked her body.
Memories surfaced of some of the attempts she’d made to save her marriage. No matter what she’d done she always felt as if she disappointed Bradley. For their first-year anniversary she’d gone all out to liven up their sad sex life. She’d made a dinner and lit candles all around their room. She’d met him at the door in high heels, garter belt and black silk.
Bradley had taken one look at her, frowned and told her she looked like a whore. He’d been pissed and had spent the night on the couch. He’d gaped at her as though she were a stranger and she realized that they actually were just two people who’d ended up together but shouldn’t have been. She’d been pathetic and she’d never be that woman again. NEVER!
It had been an endless and vicious cycle of Becca feeling like a disappointment to Bradley until the day he died. Now there was Brawn. She wasn’t what he wanted or needed either. They had nothing in common, were from two different worlds and the only thing that bound her to Brawn was the baby growing inside her womb. She couldn’t survive that kind of heartbreak again, of being in a relationship doomed from the beginning.
She couldn’t stop the tears that fell. She lost all control when the sobs hit. She pressed her mouth against her arm to muffle the sounds as she just let all the pain pour out.
The sound of the door breaking was so loud it made her gasp. Brawn tore the shower door open. Shock stilled her tears as he fell to his knees beside the tub.
Two strong arms gripped her around her back and under her knees, hoisted her up and he held her tightly against his chest.
“I’m so sorry, beautiful,” he rasped. “I didn’t mean to hurt you. I don’t smell blood. Tell me where it hurts.”
It took her seconds to recover. Brawn held her where he’d yanked her out of the shower and sat on the bathroom floor with her. He nuzzled her head, held her even tighter and rocked her a little on his lap as if it would comfort her. He thought she was injured. That sank in.
“I-I’m not hurt. Put me down.” She sniffed, freed an arm from the tangle of his to wipe at her tears and wished for a tissue. She lifted her head and saw fear in his gaze. Worry. He was certain he’d caused her physical harm. “Brawn, I’m not hurt that way. I’m really okay. I’m getting you soaked. Let go.”
“No.” He managed to straighten with her in his arms, something only someone very strong could do, and carried her out of the bathroom. “I’m so sorry, Becca. I tried to be gentle.” He thought he’d hurt her sexually and he sounded guilty and torn up over it.
“You didn’t hurt me. I’m fine.”
“Becca,” he rasped, “you are crying. I hurt you.”
He laid her down gently on the bed, tore the blanket a bit to cover her and came down on it next to her. His arms wrapped around her to gently ease her onto her side and he spooned up tightly around her as if his body could protect her.
It was sweet, it made her love him more and she gave up trying to stay in control. Why couldn’t he love her? Things would have been so perfect if he could. Hot tears spilled and she buried her face in the bedding, crying again. Damn hormones!
“I’m here, beautiful. I’ve got you,” he crooned. “It will be okay.”
Chapter Nineteen
“I’m sorry, beautiful. I’d rather hurt myself than you.”
Becca could hear the honest distress in Brawn’s voice. It forced her to get a grip on her emotions.