Brawn - Laurann Dohner [117]
Brawn softly cursed. “Becca, it’s all right. I don’t need that. I don’t want to be rough with you. I do worry about hurting you because I would rather hurt myself first.”
“The point is,” Becca continued, “I’m not what you really want. I can’t give you the things you need. I can’t take falling for you when I have done this before and I know how it ends.” Becca turned her head to stare into Brawn’s eyes.
“I—”
Becca cut him off. “You will grow to resent me. It was loud and clear when you never contacted me, Brawn. I got it. You had sex with me because we were trapped and we only had each other to lean on. You were honest the first time we met about your feelings about human women. We have nothing in common, we’re from two different worlds and you’re only here for the baby. If I hadn’t gotten pregnant I never would have seen you again. I’m not going to do this, Brawn. I’m not going to try a relationship that is doomed to fail. You’ll withdraw from me and you’ll cheat. I’ll grow to depend on you, love you and you’ll break my heart. You need to leave. That’s why I’m crying. That’s how you’re hurting me. I can’t survive that again.”
Brawn brushed at Becca’s fresh tears with his thumb. “Becca…”
“Don’t,” she sniffed. “Don’t even deny it. You can’t. You never called and you never even came to see me to get your things. There’s no way around that. I waited six weeks, hoping you’d call and say what happened between us meant something to you. I got my answer and there isn’t a thing you can say or do that is going to tell me otherwise. You’re a liar if you try. Now let me go. I’m hungry.” She tried to wiggle away from him. “Don’t touch me again, Brawn. We’ll become friends for the baby’s sake but don’t pull this claiming shit on me because I refuse to let you tear out my heart. Now move.”
“No. I wanted you. I was ordered not to contact you. I worried that seeing me would cause you pain. You went through a trauma and Species involved with humans only seem to draw danger. I thought about you all the time.”
“Let her go,” Trisha ordered. “We need to talk, Brawn. She needs to calm down a little before you tell her anything. Trust me.”
Brawn moved, letting Becca up. It was obvious from his expression that he didn’t want to. Becca climbed out of bed, wrapped the blanket around her body, and walked to the dresser to fetch a long nightshirt. She didn’t glance back as she left the bedroom.
She used the spare bedroom to change into the shirt, folded the blanket, and walked into the living room area and ordered dinner to be brought up to her. She knew they would hurry. She moved to the couch and collapsed. Trisha and Brawn remained in the bedroom.
“How do I make her stop crying?” Brawn was frustrated. “I never meant to hurt her. I did want her but everyone assured me it would be wrong. I was ordered not to contact her. I hoped she would contact me but she didn’t. How do I fix this?”
Trisha glanced at the tall Species who climbed out of bed and paced. “You hurt her feelings, Brawn. When you met her she was interested in you and you made it clear you’d never want a human. You were kidnapped, you grew really close during the ordeal and she had hopes that you’d changed your mind about wanting her. When you didn’t call her or see her again she was obviously hurt by that because she felt something for you. I know you were ordered to stay away and why. She still got hurt and that’s the bottom line. She’s certain that you didn’t feel anything for her until you found out about the baby.”
“I felt things.” He was grim. “I wanted to call, wanted to go to her, but I didn’t want to cause her pain. Everyone said I would do exactly that. I was thinking of her feelings. She saw horrible things when we were taken and got a taste of what we had dealt with in our past. I saw horror in her eyes sometimes and fear. I thought she might relive that if she saw me. I left it up to her to contact