Brawn - Laurann Dohner [119]
Becca stared into his eyes and hoped the sincerity she saw was real and not just wishful thinking on her part. “I could never hate you for what happened to us. You kept me going, comforted me, but you have to admit we wouldn’t have gotten into this situation if you’d been given a choice.” She glanced down at her rounded belly before holding his gaze. “It was comfort sex.”
“I loved touching you. That’s why I felt guilty. You are so soft and so beautiful, Becca. I wanted you in the worst way and was glad to be locked inside a cage with you. I was almost grateful because I could touch you. I never thought being with a human female would be good and it wasn’t, Becca. It was so much better than good that it is an insult to use such a weak word. You felt right to me, beautiful. Your touch and your scent. Your body around mine. You were perfect to me. Do you understand? The look in your eyes, the taste of your mouth and the feel of you inside where I didn’t want to leave has driven me crazy daily since we were freed.”
“That’s not true. You would have called me if you wanted to see me again. You didn’t.”
“I was ordered not to and had to agree that it might only cause you pain. I believed you’d come after me if you wanted to see me. I think like a Species because I am one. Our women are very blunt, aggressive and tell us what they want. I made a mistake and should have come after you.”
She was speechless, wanted to believe him and finally found her voice. “If it wasn’t for this baby we would never have seen each other again. You would have gotten on with your life and forgotten all about me. A baby isn’t a reason to start a relationship, Brawn. I won’t be with you just because I got knocked up.”
“I was glad when I learned of the child.” He took a deep breath and calmed down. “That makes me an asshole, doesn’t it? I am glad that my seed took inside you. When they told me that the doctors would make sure you had not gotten impregnated with medicines, I wanted to roar my rage because if my seed took I knew I could have you again and again because I would have a right to you.” His eyes narrowed and his nose flared. “I am a bastard and an asshole but damn it, Becca, never think I will hate you or feel trapped by you having this baby. You should feel trapped because I am not letting you go. You might be horror-filled to have my baby but I am very well pleased by it. Trisha says I need patience but what I need is for you to realize you are my mate and that you belong to me. You need to stop fighting it because it drives me insane.”
“I’m not the kind of mate who will make you happy.”
He growled at her. “Why do you think that?”
“I’m forever pissing you off. You are growling at me again and showing teeth, first off. Second off, in the bedroom, while we were having sex, you had to hold back and you obviously didn’t want to. Admit it, Brawn. Wouldn’t you have loved not to have to be careful? Wouldn’t it have felt better for you if you could have done all the things you knew would hurt me?”
His eyes locked with hers. “You were not a virgin. You have been with another male, Becca. You were married. Your husband touched you. Is my touching you the same as it was with him?”
“No.” She shook her head, her eyes locked with his. “There’s no comparison. It’s completely different.”
He nodded. “Then you should understand that what I experience with you has no comparison to what I knew before. It is more with you. Stronger. The best, Becca. I have never felt the way I feel with you. You bring out so much inside