Breaking Dawn - Stephenie Meyer [147]
They hadnt found all this out until Jacob had gone alone-over Seths and Leahs objections-to explain to Sam about Renesmee; it was the only time hed left Renesmee since first laying eyes on her.
Once Sam had understood how absolutely everything had changed, hed come back with Jacob to talk to Carlisle. Theyd spoken in human form (Edward had refused to leave my side to translate), and the treaty had been renewed. The friendly feeling of the relationship, however, might never be the same.
One big worry down.
But there was another that, though not as physically dangerous as an angry wolf pack, still seemed more urgent to me.
Charlie.
Hed spoken to Esme earlier this morning, but that hadnt kept him from calling again, twice, just a few minutes ago while Carlisle treated Seth. Carlisle and Edward had let the phone ring.
What would be the right thing to tell him? Were the Cullens right? Was telling him that Id died the best, the kindest way? Would I be able to lie still in a coffin while he and my mother cried over me?
It didnt seem right to me. But putting Charlie or Renée in danger of the Volturis obsession with secrecy was clearly out of the question.
There was still my idea-let Charlie see me, when I was ready for that, and let him make his own wrong assumptions. Technically, the vampire rules would remain unbroken. Wouldnt it be better for Charlie if he knew that I was alive-sort of- and happy? Even if I was strange and different and probably frightening to him?
My eyes, in particular, were much too frightening right now. How long before my self-control and my eye color were ready for Charlie?
Whats the matter, Bella? Jasper asked quietly, reading my growing tension. No one is angry with you-a low snarl from the riverside contradicted him, but he ignored it-or even surprised, really. Well, I suppose we are surprised. Surprised that you were able to snap out of it so quickly. You did well. Better than anyone expects of you.
While he was speaking, the room became very calm. Seths breathing slipped into a low snore. I felt more peaceful, but I didnt forget my anxieties.
I was thinking about Charlie, actually.
Out front, the bickering cut off.
Ah, Jasper murmured.
We really have to leave, dont we? I asked. For a while, at the very least. Pretend were in Atlanta or something.
I could feel Edwards gaze locked on my face, but I looked at Jasper. He was the one who answered me in a grave tone.
Yes. Its the only way to protect your father.
I brooded for a moment. Im going to miss him so much. Ill miss everyone here.
Jacob, I thought, despite myself. Though that yearning was both vanished and defined-and I was vastly relieved that it was-he was still my friend. Someone who knew the real me and accepted her. Even as a monster.
I thought about what Jacob had said, pleading with me before Id attacked him. You said we belonged in each others lives, right? That we were family. You said that was how you and I were supposed to be. So now we are. Its what you wanted.
But it didnt feel like how Id wanted it. Not exactly. I remembered further back, to the fuzzy, weak memories of my human life. Back to the very hardest part to remember-the time without Edward, a time so dark Id tried to bury it in my head. I couldnt get the words exactly right; I only remembered wishing that Jacob were my brother so that we could love each other without any confusion or pain. Family. But Id never factored a daughter into the equation.
I remembered a little later-one of the many times that Id told Jacob goodbye-wondering aloud who he would end up with, who would make his life right after what Id done to it. I had said something about how whoever she was, she wouldnt be good enough for him.
I snorted, and Edward raised one eyebrow questioningly.