Breaking Dawn - Stephenie Meyer [170]
So this was really different. I was amazing now-to them and to myself. It was like I had been born to be a vampire. The idea made me want to laugh, but it also made me want to sing. I had found my true place in the world, the place I fit, the place I shined.
* * *
27. TRAVEL PLANS
I took mythology a lot more seriously since Id become a vampire.
Often, when I looked back over my first three months as an immortal, I imagined how the thread of my life might look in the Fates loom-who knew but that it actually existed? I was sure my thread must have changed color; I thought it had probably started out as a nice beige, something supportive and non- confrontational, something that would look good in the background. Now it felt like it must be bright crimson, or maybe glistening gold.
The tapestry of family and friends that wove together around me was a beautiful, glowing thing, full of their bright, complementary colors.
I was surprised by some of the threads I got to include in my life. The werewolves, with their deep, woodsy colors, were not something Id expected; Jacob, of course, and Seth, too. But my old friends Quil and Embry became part of the fabric as they joined Jacobs pack, and even Sam and Emily were cordial. The tensions between our families eased, mostly due to Renesmee. She was easy to love.
Sue and Leah Clearwater were interlaced into our life, too-two more I had not anticipated.
Sue seemed to have taken it on herself to smooth Charlies transition into the world of make-believe. She came with him to the Cullens most days, though she never seemed truly comfortable here the way her son and most of Jakes pack did. She did not speak often; she just hovered protectively near Charlie. She was always the first person he looked to when Renesmee did something disturbingly advanced-which was often. In answer, Sue would eye Seth meaningfully as if to say, Yeah, tell me about it.
Leah was even less comfortable than Sue and was the only part of our recently extended family who was openly hostile to the merger. However, she and Jacob had a new camaraderie that kept her close to us all. I asked him about it once-hesitantly; I didnt want to pry, but the relationship was so different from the way it used to be that it made me curious. He shrugged and told me it was a pack thing. She was his second-in-command now, his beta, as Id called it once long ago.
I figured as long as I was going to do this Alpha thing for real, Jacob explained, Id better nail down the formalities.
The new responsibility made Leah feel the need to check in with him often, and since he was always with Renesmee
Leah was not happy to be near us, but she was the exception. Happiness was the main component in my life now, the dominant pattern in the tapestry. So much so that my relationship with Jasper was now much closer than Id ever dreamed it would be.
At first I was really annoyed, though.
Yeesh! I complained to Edward one night after wed put Renesmee in her wrought-iron crib. If I havent killed Charlie or Sue yet, its probably not going to happen. I wish Jasper would stop hovering all the time!
No one doubts you, Bella, not in the slightest, he assured me. You know how Jasper is-he cant resist a good emotional climate. Youre so happy all the time, love, he gravitates toward you without thinking.
And then Edward hugged me tightly, because nothing pleased him more than my overwhelming ecstasy in this new life.
And I was euphoric the vast majority of the time. The days were not long enough for me to get my fill of adoring my daughter; the nights did not have enough hours to satisfy my need for Edward.
There was a flipside to the joy, though. If you turned the fabric of our lives over, I imagined the design on the backside would be woven in the bleak grays of doubt and fear.
Renesmee spoke her first word when she was exactly one week old. The word was Momma, which would have made my day, except that I was so frightened