Breaking Dawn - Stephenie Meyer [185]
I can do that. Company in the morning, huh?
Yes. The closest of our friends. In this particular case, its probably better if we get things out in the open as soon as possible. You can stay here. Tanya knows about you. Shes even met Seth.
Right.
You should tell Sam whats going on. There might be strangers in the woods soon.
Good point. Though I owe him some silence after last night.
Listening to Alice is usually the right thing.
Jacobs teeth ground together, and I could see that he shared Sams feelings about what Alice and Jasper had done.
While they were talking, I wandered toward the back windows, trying to look distracted and anxious. Not a difficult thing to do. I leaned my head against the wall that curved away from the living room toward the dining room, right next to one of the computer desks. I ran my fingers against the keys while staring into the forest, trying to make it look like an absentminded thing. Did vampires ever do things absentmindedly? I didnt think anyone was paying particular attention to me, but I didnt turn to make sure. The monitor glowed to life. I stroked my fingers across the keys again. Then I drummed them very quietly on the wooden desktop, just to make it seem random. Another stroke across the keys.
I scanned the screen in my peripheral vision.
No J. Jenks, but there was a Jason Jenks. A lawyer. I brushed the keyboard, trying to keep a rhythm, like the preoccupied stroking of a cat youd all but forgotten on your lap. Jason Jenks had a fancy website for his firm, but the address on the homepage was wrong. In Seattle, but in a different zip code. I noted the phone number and then stroked the keyboard in rhythm. This time I searched the address, but nothing at all came up, as if the address didnt exist. I wanted to look at a map, but I decided I was pushing my luck. One more brush, to delete the history
I continued staring out the window and brushed the wood a few times. I heard light footsteps crossing the floor to me, and I turned with what I hoped was the same expression as before.
Renesmee reached for me, and I held my arms open. She launched herself into them, smelling strongly of werewolf, and nestled her head against my neck.
I didnt know if I could stand this. As much as I feared for my life, for Edwards, for the rest of my familys, it was not the same as the gut-wrenching terror I felt for my daughter. There had to be a way to save her, even if that was the only thing I could do.
Suddenly, I knew that this was all I wanted anymore. The rest I would bear if I had to, but not her life being forfeited. Not that.
She was the one thing I simply had to save.
Would Alice have known how I would feel?
Renesmees hand touched my cheek lightly.
She showed me my own face, Edwards, Jacobs, Rosalies, Esmes, Carlisles, Alices, Jaspers, flipping through all our familys faces faster and faster. Seth and Leah. Charlie, Sue, and Billy. Over and over again. Worrying, like the rest of us were. She was only worrying, though. Jake had kept the worst from her as far as I could tell. The part about how we had no hope, how we all were going to die in a months time.
She settled on Alices face, longing and confused. Where was Alice?
I dont know, I whispered. But shes Alice. Shes doing the right thing, like always.
The right thing for Alice, anyway. I hated thinking of her that way, but how else could the situation be understood?
Renesmee sighed, and the longing intensified.
I miss her, too.
I felt my face working, trying to find the expression that went with the grief inside. My eyes felt strange and dry; they blinked against the uncomfortable feeling. I bit my lip. When I took my next breath, the air hitched in my throat, like I was choking on it.
Renesmee pulled back to look at me, and I saw my face mirrored in her thoughts and in her eyes.