Breaking Dawn - Stephenie Meyer [58]
You can offer her what she wants.
He wasnt making any sense. Part of the crazy?
I dont care about anything but keeping her alive, he said, suddenly focused now. If its a child she wants, she can have it. She can have half a dozen babies. Anything she wants. He paused for one beat. She can have puppies, if thats what it takes.
He met my stare for a moment and his face was frenzied under the thin layer of control. My hard scowl crumbled as I processed his words, and I felt my mouth pop open in shock.
But not this way! he hissed before I could recover. Not this thing thats sucking the life from her while I stand there helpless! Watching her sicken and waste away. Seeing it hurting her. He sucked in a fast breath like someone had punched him in the gut. You have to make her see reason, Jacob. She wont listen to me anymore. Rosalies always there, feeding her insanity-encouraging her. Protecting her. No, protecting it. Bellas life means nothing to her.
The noise coming from my throat sounded like I was choking.
What was he saying? That Bella should, what? Have a baby? With me? What? How? Was he giving her up? Or did he think she wouldnt mind being shared?
Whichever. Whatever keeps her alive.
Thats the craziest thing youve said yet, I mumbled.
She loves you.
Not enough.
Shes ready to die to have a child. Maybe shed accept something less extreme.
Dont you know her at all?
I know, I know. Its going to take a lot of convincing. Thats why I need you. You know how she thinks. Make her see sense.
I couldnt think about what he was suggesting. It was too much. Impossible. Wrong. Sick. Borrowing Bella for the weekends and then returning her Monday morning like a rental movie? So messed up.
So tempting.
I didnt want to consider, didnt want to imagine, but the images came anyway. Id fantasized about Bella that way too many times, back when there was still a possibility of us, and then long after it was clear that the fantasies would only leave festering sores because there was no possibility, none at all. I hadnt been able to help myself then. I couldnt stop myself now. Bella in my arms, Bella sighing my name
Worse still, this new image Id never had before, one that by all rights shouldnt have existed for me. Not yet. An image I knew I wouldntve suffered over for years if he hadnt shoved it in my head now. But it stuck there, winding threads through my brain like a weed-poisonous and unkillable. Bella, healthy and glowing, so different than now, but something the same: her body, not distorted, changed in a more natural way. Round with my child.
I tried to escape the venomous weed in my mind. Make Bella see sense? What universe do you live in?
At least try.
I shook my head fast. He waited, ignoring the negative answer because he could hear the conflict in my thoughts.
Where is this psycho crap coming from? Are you making this up as you go?
Ive been thinking of nothing but ways to save her since I realized what she was planning to do. What she would die to do. But I didnt know how to contact you. I knew you wouldnt listen if I called. I would have come to find you soon, if you hadnt come today. But its hard to leave her, even for a few minutes. Her condition it changes so fast. The thing is growing. Swiftly. I cant be away from her now.
What is it?
None of us have any idea. But it is stronger than she is. Already.
I could suddenly see it then-see the swelling monster in my head, breaking her from the inside out.
Help me stop it, he whispered. Help me stop this from happening.
How? By offering my stud services? He didnt even flinch when I said that, but I did. Youre really sick. Shell never listen to this.
Try. Theres nothing to lose now. How will it hurt?
It would hurt me. Hadnt I taken enough rejection from Bella without this?
A little pain to save her? Is it such a high cost?
But it wont work.
Maybe not. Maybe it will confuse her, though. Maybe shell falter in her resolve. One moment of doubt is all I need.
And then you pull the rug out from under the offer? Just kidding,