Breaking Dawn - Stephenie Meyer [75]
Paul? she suggested.
Maybe, I allowed.
She laughed to herself, too jittery and hyper to get offended. I wondered how long the buzz from dodging Sams pity would last.
That will be my goal, then-to be less annoying than Paul.
Yeah, work on that.
I changed into my other form when I was a few yards from the lawn. I hadnt been planning to spend much time human here. But I hadnt been planning to have Leah in my head, either. I pulled on my ragged shorts and started across the lawn.
The door opened before I got to the steps, and I was surprised to see Carlisle rather than Edward step outside to meet me-his face looked exhausted and defeated. For a second, my heart froze. I faltered to a stop, unable to speak.
Are you all right, Jacob? Carlisle asked.
Is Bella? I choked out.
Shes much the same as last night. Did I startle you? Im sorry. Edward said you were coming in your human form, and I came out to greet you, as he didnt want to leave her. Shes awake.
And Edward didnt want to lose any time with her, because he didnt have much time left. Carlisle didnt say the words out loud, but he might as well have.
It had been a while since Id slept-since before my last patrol. I could really feel that now. I took a step forward, sat down on the porch steps, and slumped against the railing.
Moving whisper-quiet as only a vampire could, Carlisle took a seat on the same step, against the other railing.
I didnt get a chance to thank you last night, Jacob. You dont know how much I appreciate your compassion. I know your goal was to protect Bella, but I owe you the safety of the rest of my family as well. Edward told me what you had to do
Dont mention it, I muttered.
If you prefer.
We sat in silence. I could hear the others in the house. Emmett, Alice, and Jasper, speaking in low, serious voices upstairs. Esme humming tunelessly in another room. Rosalie and Edward breathing close by-I couldnt tell which was which, but I could hear the difference in Bellas labored panting. I could hear her heart, too. It seemed uneven.
It was like fate was out to make me do everything Id ever sworn I wouldnt in the course of twenty-four hours. Here I was, hanging around, waiting for her to die.
I didnt want to listen anymore. Talking was better than listening.
Shes family to you? I asked Carlisle. It had caught my notice before, when hed said Id helped the rest of his family, too.
Yes. Bella is already a daughter to me. A beloved daughter.
But youre going to let her die.
He was quiet long enough that I looked up. His face was very, very tired. I knew how he felt.
I can imagine what you think of me for that, he finally said. But I cant ignore her will. It wouldnt be right to make such a choice for her, to force her.
I wanted to be angry with him, but he was making it hard. It was like he was throwing my own words back at me, just scrambled up. Theyd sounded right before, but they couldnt be right now. Not with Bella dying. Still I remembered how it felt to be broken on the ground under Sam-to have no choice but be involved in the murder of someone I loved. It wasnt the same, though. Sam was wrong. And Bella loved things she shouldnt.
Do you think theres any chance shell make it? I mean, as a vampire and all that. She told me about about Esme.
Id say theres an even chance at this point, he answered quietly. Ive seen vampire venom work miracles, but there are conditions that even venom cannot overcome. Her heart is working too hard now; if it should fail there wont be anything for me to do.
Bellas heartbeat throbbed and faltered, giving an agonizing emphasis to his words.
Maybe the planet had started turning backward. Maybe that would explain how everything was the opposite of what it had been yesterday-how I could be hoping for what had once seemed like the very worst thing in the world.
What is that thing doing to her? I whispered. She was so much worse last night. I saw the tubes and all that. Through the window.
The