Brideshead Revisited - Evelyn Waugh [81]
It came to her, this disturbing and unsought revelation, one evening in May, when Rex had told her he would be busy at the House, and, driving by chance down Charles Street, she saw him leaving what she knew to be Brenda Champion's house. She was so hurt and angry that she could barely keep up appearances through dinner; as soon as she could, she went home and cried bitterly for ten minutes; then she felt hungry, wished she had eaten more at dinner, ordered some bread-and-milk, and went to bed saying: 'When Mr Mottram telephones in the morning, whatever time it is, say I am not to be disturbed.'
Next day she breakfasted in bed as usual, read the papers, telephoned to her friends. Finally she asked: 'Did Mr Mottram ring up by any chance?'
'Oh yes my lady four times. Shall I put him through when he rings again?'
'Yes. No. Say I've gone out.'
When she came downstairs there was a message for her on the hall table. Mr Mottram expects Lady Julia at the Ritz at 1.30. 'I shall lunch at home today, ' she said.
That afternoon she went shopping with her mother; they had tea with an aunt and returned at six.
'Mr Mottram is waiting, my Lady. I've shown him into the library.'
'Oh, mummy, I can't be bothered with him. Do tell him to go home.'
'That's not at all kind, Julia. I've often said he's not my favourite among your friends, but I have grown quite used to him, almost to like him. You really mustn't take people up and drop them like this—particularly people like Mr Mottram.'
Oh, mummy, must I see him? There'll be a scene if I do.'
'Nonsense, Julia, you twist that poor man round your finger.'
So Julia went into the library and came out an hour later engaged to be married.
'Oh, mummy, I warned you this would happen if I went in there.'
'You did nothing of the kind. You merely said there would be a scene. I never conceived of a scene of this kind.'
'Anyway, you do like him, mummy. You said so.'
'He has been very kind in a number of ways. I regard him as entirely unsuitable as your husband. So will everyone.'
'Damn everybody.'
'We know nothing about him. He may have black blood—in fact he is suspiciously dark. Darling, the whole thing's impossible. I can't see how you can have been so foolish.'
'Well, what right have I got otherwise to be angry with him if he goes with that horrible old woman? You make a great thing about rescuing fallen women. Well, I'm rescuing, a fallen man for a change. I'm saving Rex from mortal sin.'
'Don't be irreverent, Julia.'
'Well, isn't it mortal sin to sleep with Brenda Champion?'
'Or indecent.'
'He's promised never to see her again. I couldn't ask him to do that unless I admitted I was in love with him could I?'
'Mrs Champion's morals, thank God, are not my business. Your happiness is. If you must know, I think Mr Mottram a kind and useful friend, but I wouldn't trust him an inch, and I'm sure he'll have very unpleasant children. They always revert. I've no doubt you'll regret the whole thing in a few days. Meanwhile nothing is to be done. No one must be told anything or allowed to suspect. You must stop lunching with him. You may see him here, of course, but nowhere in public. You had better send him to me and I will have a little talk to him about it.' Thus began a year's secret engagement for Julia; a time of great stress, for Rex made love to her that afternoon for the first time; not, as had happened to her once or twice before with sentimental and uncertain boys, but with a passion that disclosed the corner of something like it in her. Their passion frightened her, and she came back from the confessional one day determined to put an end to it.
'Otherwise I must stop seeing you,' she said.