Bridge to a Distant Star - Carolyn Williford [15]
“Tap water will do fine.”
“The same for me, please,” from Vanessa.
“I think I’d like iced tea.” Maureen looked over to Emilie. “Em, isn’t this where we got the peach tea that we both liked so much?” Without waiting for an answer, she continued, “Would you like that too then?” Still no response from Emilie. “Two of those for us, please. Thanks.”
“Any appetizers today? We have avocado and crab dips with one of our specialty breads?” Her cheerfulness was like a laugh at a funeral.
Several responses of no before she continued, “Okay then. I’ll be right back with these and then we’ll get your order.” She turned and bounced away, four sets of eyes following.
“Better look at the menu now,” Sherry suggested.
Vanessa and Maureen glanced over at Emilie, who merely stared at the closed menu before her. Making no move to open it, she sat completely still.
After a few moments of awkward silence, Maureen pushed the menu aside and quietly asked, “Emilie, are you going to feel up to eating anything at all? I mean …”
“Of course she is.” Sherry responded with authority like the professor that she was. “She’s got to eat. And we’re going to make sure she does.”
“But maybe that’s not what Emilie needs. I mean, we could just leave and—”
“No,” Emilie emphatically interrupted, surprising them all. “I want to stay here. I don’t want to go home! I can’t walk back into the house just yet …” She caught her breath, stopped. And then the tears came.
As if on cue, everyone reached for Emilie’s hands, arms, anything to touch her, reassure her. Emilie began openly weeping, the other three tearing up also, feeling the heartache along with her.
But then, as suddenly as the tears had arrived, Emilie pleaded, “Um, we’ve got to get ourselves together.” Flustered, she grabbed for the rumpled tissue again. “I don’t want anyone else to know about this yet. It’s been hard enough telling you all, and …” she paused, swallowing, “well, I’m not ready for this to get out. And then there’s the kids. Oh, God, how am I ever going to tell the kids?” Despite her resolve, she had to wipe away more tears.
“Em, are you positive this isn’t just some huge misunderstanding?” Maureen asked. “Or maybe … maybe we need to look at this from God’s perspective, like Joseph. You know, he meant it for evil, but God meant if for good?”
Sherry’s intensity pulled her toward Maureen, and though she whispered, her words came out like a snarled hiss, “Maureen, listen to me. Shut up. It doesn’t work that way in the real world, and you know that.” Seeing Maureen’s hurt response, Sherry purposefully eased herself backward, resettled, closed her eyes a moment, and then took a deep breath. “Look, Maureen, I think I understand what you’re trying to say. But the idea that if we can only figure it all out, then God will simply make it vanish—”
“I’m so sorry.” Maureen’s eyes darted from Sherry to Emilie. “I didn’t mean … I’m only trying to help Em see, to help us all see, that sometimes there’s a blessing underneath. That good can come of the worst. Isn’t that right?” She searched Emilie’s face for answers, but it was Sherry who spoke into the tense atmosphere again.
“Quite frankly, I don’t think it’s time yet to search for the good in this mess. Because there’s not one thing good about this!” A pained look covered Sherry’s features, telltale remnants of her own past. “And if God really is God, then I wish he would skip the heartbreaking life lessons for the children’s sake, and stop Ed in his tracks right now.”
Maureen instinctively jerked backward. And then she looked to Emilie, fully expecting her to vehemently disagree. Yet Maureen watched in absolute amazement as Emilie nodded her head, and then added, “Oh, Sherry. That’s exactly what my heart has been crying out. That God would … be God. And do something!”
Never before had Maureen heard any of these friends express such caustic cynicism, such blatant anger at God. Wasn’t that blasphemy? she asked herself, realizing that she was nearly frozen in fear, waiting for … What? Am I expecting God to strike us dead?