Brief Wondrous Life of Oscar Wao, The - Junot Diaz [67]
It’s not like he was a complete stranger — I mean, he was the brother of the girl I’d shadow — fucked. Saw him on campus with her those first couple of years, hard to believe he and Lola were related. (Me Apokalips, he cracked, she New Genesis.) Unlike me who would have hidden from a Caliban like that, she loved the dork. Invited him to parties and to her rallies. Holding up signs, handing out flyers. Her fat-ass assistant. To say I’d never in my life met a Dominican like him would be to put it mildly.
Hail, Dog of God, was how he welcomed me my first day in Demarest.
Took a week before I figured out what the hell he meant.
God. Domini. Dog. Canis.
Hail, Dominicanis.
I guess I should have fucking known. Dude used to say he was cursed, used to say this a lot, and if I’d really been old-school Dominican I would have (a) listened to the idiot, and then (b) run the other way. My family are sureños, from Azua, and if we sureños from Azua know anything it’s about fucking curses. I mean, Jesus, have you ever seen Azua? My mom wouldn’t even have listened, would have just run. She didn’t fuck with fukú’s or guanguas, no way no how. But I wasn’t as old-school as I am now, just real fucking dumb, assumed keeping an eye on somebody like Oscar wouldn’t be no Herculean chore. I mean, shit, I was a weight lifter, picked up bigger fucking piles than him every damn day.
You can start the laugh track anytime you want.
He seemed like the same to me. Still massive — Biggie Smalls minus the smalls — and still lost. Still writing ten, fifteen, twenty pages a day. Still obsessed with his fanboy madness. Do you know what sign fool put up on our dorm door? Speak, friend, and enter. In fucking Elvish! (Please don’t ask me how I knew this. Please.) When I saw that I said: de León, you gotta be kidding. Elvish?
Actually, he coughed, it’s Sindarin.
Actually, Melvin said, it’s gay-hay-hay.
Despite my promises to Lola to watch out, those first couple weeks I didn’t have much to do with him. I mean, what can I say? I was busy. What state school player isn’t? I had my job and the gym and my boys and my novia and of course I had my slutties.
Out so much that first month that what I saw of O was mostly a big dormant hump crashed out under a sheet. Only thing that kept his nerd ass up late were his role-playing games and his Japanese animation, especially Akira, which I think he must have watched at least a thousand times that year. I can’t tell you how many nights I came home and caught him parked in front of that movie. I’d bark: You watching this shit again? And Oscar would say, almost as if apologizing for his existence: It’s almost over. It’s always almost over, I complained. I didn’t mind it, though. I liked shit like Akira, even if I couldn’t always stay awake for it. I’d lay back on my bed while Kaneda screamed Tetsuo and the next thing I knew Oscar was standing timidly over me, saying, Yunior, the movie is finis and I would sit up, say, Fuck!
Wasn’t half as bad as I made it out to be later. For all of his nerdiness, dude was a pretty considerate roommate. I never got stupid little notes from him like the last fucknuts I lived with, and he always paid for his half of shit and if I ever came in during one of his Dungeons & Dragons games he’d relocate to the lounge without even having to be asked. Akira I could handle, Queen of the Demonweb Pits I could not.
Made my little gestures, of course. A meal once a week. Picked up his writings, five books to date, and tried to read some. Wasn’t my cup of tea — Drop the phaser, Arthurus Prime — but even I could tell he had chops. Could write dialogue, crack snappy