Bright Air - Barry Maitland [76]
If there’s a psychic equivalent of vertigo, I felt it then, the giddy sense of having nothing solid beneath you. ‘Would they have really done that—just not told anyone about the accident for days?’
Anna didn’t reply at first, then she whispered, ‘Accident? How do we know that? How do we know she fell into the sea? Maybe it took them days just to cook up that story.’
18
We cycled back and parked our bikes where we’d found them. Anna returned to the cabin, but I heard the sound of someone working in the garden behind a hedge, and when I looked over I saw Muriel Kelso among rows of lettuce and potatoes. She had a wide straw hat on her head, a hoe in her hand and a determined look on her face.
‘Oh, hello, Josh. How was your ride?’
‘Good. We met Grant Campbell out at Blinky Beach.’
‘Ah yes, his favourite spot.’ She laughed. ‘Surfing was he? He wanted to be a professional, but not many people can make a living out of it, so he did the next best thing and took old Billy’s job when he retired. That’s life, isn’t it? Making accommodation. Oh, and I have something to show you.’
She peeled off her gardening gloves and led me to the back door of the house and into the kitchen. ‘You’re probably thirsty after your ride. Would you like some homemade lemonade?’
‘Thanks.’
She poured me a glass from an enormous fridge in the corner and told me to sit while she fetched whatever it was. Photographs as it turned out, taken at the party for the sailors from the yacht race. And there she was, Luce, looking pretty good, maybe a trace of shadow around the eyes, but still our Luce, smile fixed in the flash. I studied them all carefully, getting Muriel to identify the locals and the yachties. There were two pictures with Luce, one standing with Damien and the other with Marcus, an ironic smile on his face and a rotund man with a scowl on his other side.
‘American, I think,’ Muriel said. ‘Or Canadian. From one of the boats. Can’t remember his name. Quite taken with Lucy, as I remember.’ The idea was grotesque. I felt her eyes studying me as she said that. ‘I thought you might like to see these, but I wasn’t sure …’
‘No, I’m glad you did, Muriel, thanks.’ But my voice sounded odd.
‘It’s hard to know. After my sister died I couldn’t bear to see pictures of her. Guilt, you see. She was living on the mainland, and I should have gone over earlier, but I put it off, and finally I was too late. The guilt stopped me grieving as I should. I think it’s like that with a lot of people. We should have done more, or less, or differently, and now it’s too late and we blame ourselves and can’t bear to think about it.’
I nodded, eyes fixed on Luce’s picture. ‘That’s right. I understand exactly what you mean.’
‘But that’s so sad, isn’t it, being unable to remember someone for such a reason? It’s very important to forgive yourself, Josh.’ She laid a hand on my sleeve. ‘Just remember how wonderful it was that she shared her life with you, if only for a brief time.’
‘Yeah. Looks like a good party. Did you see Lucy the next day?’
She thought. ‘I’m not sure. I think I remember waving to them all as they set off with Bob the following morning.’
‘And after that, over the weekend?’
‘I really can’t remember, Josh.’ She looked at me curiously. ‘Why?’
I shrugged. ‘Thanks for letting me see these. I’ll tell Anna; she may want to have a look.’
‘Take them and show her.’
At the door she put her hand on my arm again. ‘You’re not worried that she may have taken her own life, are you, Josh?’
I froze, staring at the floor. ‘Er … it’s a possibility I’ve wondered about.’
‘I’m sure she didn’t. She would have left a note, wouldn’t she?’
‘I don’t know.’
‘Yes, I’m sure she would—for her father, if no one else. She was a very considerate girl.’
Anna was sitting on a sofa in a bathrobe with a towel around her head. She was staring blankly at a book in her hands. I noticed it was upside down.
‘Good book?’
She gave a shiver and put it aside. ‘Just thinking.’
I handed her the photos