Bryson's Dictionary of Troublesome Words - Bill Bryson [84]
A rarer error is seen here: “But its big worry is the growing evidence that such ostentatious cars, the cheapest costs £55,240, are becoming socially unacceptable” (Times). When the incidental information could stand alone as a sentence, it needs to be set off with stronger punctuation—either dashes or parentheses.
2. When the information is nonrestrictive. The problem here—which is really much the same as that discussed in the previous three paragraphs—is illustrated by this incorrectly punctuated sentence from the Daily Mail: “Cable TV would be socially divisive, the chairman of the BBC George Howard claimed last night.” The writer has failed to understand the distinction between (1) “BBC chairman George Howard claimed last night” and (2) “The chairman of the BBC, George Howard, claimed last night.” In (1), the name George Howard is essential to the sense of the sentence; it defines it. If we removed it, the sentence would say, “BBC chairman claimed last night.” In (2), however, the name is nonrestrictive. In effect it is parenthetical. We could remove it without altering the sense of the sentence: “The chairman of the BBC claimed last night.” When a name or title can be removed, it should be set off with commas. When it cannot be removed, the use of commas is wrong.
Two hypothetical examples may help to clarify the distinction. Both are correctly punctuated. “John Fowles’s novel The Collector was a bestseller”; “John Fowles’s first novel, The Collector, was a bestseller.” In the first example the name of the novel is restrictive because The Collector is only one of several novels by Fowles. In the second example it is nonrestrictive because only one novel can be the author’s first one. We could delete The Collector from the second example without spoiling the sense of the sentence, but not from the first.
When something is the only one of its kind, it should be set off with commas; when it is only one of several, the use of commas is wrong. Thus these two sentences, both from The Times, are incorrect: “When the well-known British firm, Imperial Metal Industries, developed two new types of superconducting wires . . .”; “The writer in the American magazine, Horizon, was aware of this pretentiousness . . .” The first example would be correct only if Imperial Metal Industries were the only well-known British firm, and the second would be correct only if Horizon were America’s only magazine. The same error in reverse occurs here: “Julie Christie knows that in the week her new film The Return of the Soldier has opened . . .” (Sunday Times). Since The Return of the Soldier was Julie Christie’s only new film of the week, it should have been set off with commas.
The error frequently occurs when a marriage partner is named: “Mrs. Thatcher and her husband Denis left London yesterday” (Observer). Since Mrs. Thatcher has only one husband, it should be “and her husband, Denis, left London yesterday.”
3. With forms of address. When addressing people, you must use commas around the names or titles of those addressed. “Hit him Jim, hit him” (Sunday Times) should be “Hit him, Jim, hit him.” The television program Good Morning America should really be Good Morning, America. The film I’m All Right Jack should have been I’m All Right, Jack. The lack of a comma or commas is always sloppy and occasionally ambiguous. In 1981, for instance, the Sunday Express illustrated a novel serialization with the heading “I’m choking Mr. Herriot” when what it meant was “I’m choking, Mr. Herriot”—quite another matter.
4. With interpolated words or phrases. Words such as moreover, meanwhile, and nevertheless and phrases such as for instance and for example traditionally have taken commas, but the practice has become increasingly discretionary over the years. In Britain they have been more freely abandoned than in America; Fowler, for instance, seldom uses them. I would recommend using them when they suggest a pause or when ambiguity might result. This is especially true of however.