Buckingham Palace Gardens - Anne Perry [70]
She was burning and cold at once, her heart pounding, her hands chilled. “I would like something with a warmth I could trust,” she said. Was that too obvious? Was she being as clumsy and predictable as Minnie had said she was?
Julius was so close she could smell the faint odor of soap and clean cotton, and the heat of his skin.
“Perhaps we all would.” His voice was not much more than a murmur. “How much of what we see in a face is really there?”
“Not always very much,” she admitted. “If we could read them with any skill we wouldn’t make so many mistakes. We see what we want to.”
“And we change,” he added. “We find what we were looking for, and discover that we don’t like it after all.” He touched her shoulder a moment with his hand, then dropped it away again.
She wanted to turn round, face him, look into his eyes. That was a lie. She wanted infinitely more than that, and it would be a disaster, something too wonderful to forget, or too empty, too revealing of disillusion ever to heal. She must change the subject, however violently.
“What was Cahoon talking about before? Was it like this poor woman here?” Her voice sounded too harsh.
“Yes, pretty much.” He did not step away.
“Is he…suggesting it was the same person who did it?”
“Yes, I think so. Particularly since he was in Europe at the time, so it couldn’t have been him. And Eden Forbes is dead.”
“Liliane’s brother? Why did you mention him? What happened to him anyway? She’s never spoken of it.” Elsa had not meant to, but she sounded frightened and accusing.
“I don’t know,” he answered. “I believe it was crocodiles. He was in a boat that capsized. Stories were a bit garbled, and everyone was very shocked. From what I heard, Hamilton did a lot to help. Watson Forbes was there, and Liliane, but they were devastated by it. I was actually a couple of hundred miles away up-country when it happened.”
She tried to imagine it, and deliberately stopped. “I’m not sure if I would like Africa. Not that I have to go. I don’t think Cahoon will care whether I do or not, and I’m certainly not necessary.”
“We don’t have the contract yet,” he pointed out.
She was surprised. “Don’t you think we will?” Failure was not something she had seriously considered. Cahoon never failed, and he wanted this more passionately than anything else in his life. But that had been before the murder.
Julius answered slowly, concentrating on each word. “I suppose that depends on what the policeman finds.” There was irony in his voice, and pity, and fear. He would have been a fool to possess less. She was glad to hear it; at least he felt something.
“And I’m not as certain that the railway will be an unqualified asset as I used to be. There are other factors. I thought I knew as much as I needed to, now I’m not sure. What about a generation from now—or two? The internal boundaries in Africa are all very fluid. What if they change? If only one country opposes the British Empire, we become desperately vulnerable. And even if we can safeguard the project, militarily or through treaty, what will it do to Africa itself?”
“Give it a unity,” she replied immediately. She did not understand why he was concerned. “Isn’t that good? We did the same in India.”
“India already had a degree of unity,” he pointed out. “Africa doesn’t. It has far more changes in climate and terrain, in race, culture, and religion. Maybe it’s all better tied together by a British railway, but I’m far from certain of that. I’ve been wondering if east to west, inland to the sea, might be far more practical, not only physically but morally.”
Elsa was amazed, and in spite of her resolution not to, she turned to face him. “Have you said so?”
“No. I’m not certain, and Cahoon isn’t listening anyway. He considers anyone who questions him to be committing an act of betrayal.” A half-smile touched his lips. “But you know that.”
She did know it. She realized that