Burnt Offerings - Laurell K. Hamilton [125]
He moved around to stand in back of me, so close the hem of his gown brushed my legs. “But you’re still afraid.” His voice had dropped almost to a whisper. “Can you use that fear to call power?”
My pulse was hammering in my throat, and I was afraid, but it wasn’t the right kind of fear. The fear that overwhelms you in the midst of an emergency can call power almost without effort. This was the kind of fear that keeps you from jumping out of perfectly good airplanes even though you’d decided to do it. Not an unhealthy fear, but it would hold you back.
“No,” I said.
“Then let go of the fear,” he said. He touched my arms gently and sat me on the edge of the bed.
Nathaniel made a small protesting sound, as if it had hurt.
I opened my eyes and Stephen said, “Close them.” It was the closest thing to an order I’d ever heard him give. I closed them.
He took my hands and laid the tips of my fingers on either side of Nathaniel’s face. “The skin just over the temples is so soft.” He drew my fingers in a soft feathery line down Nathaniel’s face, fingers gliding on either side, as if I were blind and trying to memorize his features.
He slid my hands into Nathaniel’s hair. It was silken, unbelievably soft. His hair had the texture of satin. I balled my hands into that soft warmth, lowered my face towards his hair and smelled it. There was a faint medicinal smell. I buried my face in the satin brush of his hair and found his scent under it all. He smelled like vanilla, and under that was the scent of wood and field and fur. He wasn’t pack, but the scent was similar. He smelled like home. Something clicked deep inside me, like a switch being thrown.
I opened my eyes and knew what to do, how to do it, wanted to do it. Like a distant thought, I realized that Stephen’s hands had fallen away long ago.
I stared down into Nathaniel’s lilac eyes and bent towards that amazing gaze. I touched his lips with mine, a chaste kiss, and that one soft brush brought the power in a warm, skin-tingling rush. It spilled out of me like water, warm, soothing, filling. But power alone wasn’t enough. It needed direction, guidance, and I knew how to do it, as if I’d done it before. I didn’t question it, didn’t want to.
I tried to run my hand down his chest, but the gown covered him. He was like Stephen, like me, small. The gown was fastened in front, not in back. My hand sought the opening and slid along bare skin. Slid until I felt the incision.
I straddled Nathaniel’s legs. He made another small hurting sound and I liked it. I rose up on my knees so only the sides of my legs touched his body. I slid the sheet down around his body and opened the gown, exposing him. The stitches were a thin dark line across the paleness of his skin that ran nearly from one hip to the other. A fearful wound, a killing wound.
He wore nothing below the waist. Hospitals are always stripping us down, leaving us as vulnerable as possible. The sight of him naked should have stopped me in my tracks. Dimly, it shocked me. I hadn’t expected it, but it was too late. The power didn’t care. I ran my fingers lightly over the stitches.
Nathaniel cried out, only half from pain. He was half-erect before I lowered my face to the stitches. I licked the wound like a dog would, long, slow caresses. He was more than half-erect when I raised my face to see his eyes staring down at me. I knew in that moment that I could have him, that he wanted me to take that last step.
I could feel the others in the room like a hum of energy, a vibrating backdrop to the energy inside me. I’d never been interested in casual sex, but the smell and feel of Nathaniel’s body was almost overwhelming. I’d never been so tempted by a stranger. But temptation is just tempting. You don’t have to give in. I rose on my knees over him, placing my hands on the smooth bones of his hips, drawing my hands towards the middle of the incision. When my hands touched, I put one on top of the other and pressed. Not with muscle or flesh but with power. I thrust that warm, rising power into his body.