Bushwhacked_ Life in George W. Bush's America Large Print - Molly Ivins [122]
Among other things, the Gulf War II produced a remarkably peppy peace movement in practically no time. The signs carried by the protesters seem to us to represent some of the best about America—a loud, noisy, irreverent explosion of dissent and free speech. Here is what some of your fellow citizens had to say:
DRUNKEN FRAT BOY DRIVES COUNTRY INTO DITCH
WHO WOULD JESUS BOMB?
WAR BEGINS WITH “DUBYA”
BUSH IS PROOF THAT EMPTY WARHEADS CAN BE DANGEROUS
LET’S BOMB TEXAS, THEY HAVE OIL TOO
HOW DID OUR OIL GET UNDER THEIR SAND?
IF YOU CAN’T PRONOUNCE IT, DON’T BOMB IT
ONE THOUSAND POINTS OF LIGHT AND ONE DIM BULB
PREEMPTIVE IMPEACHMENT
FRODO HAS FAILED. BUSH HAS THE RING.
EMPIRES FALL
MAINSTREAM WHITE GUYS FOR PEACE
WE CAN’T AFFORD TO RULE THE WORLD
9-11-01: 15 SAUDIS, 0 IRAQIS
I ASKED FOR UNIVERSAL HEALTH CARE AND ALL
I GOT WAS A LOUSY STEALTH BOMBER
WAR IS NOT A FAMILY VALUE
DRAFT RICHARD PERLE
(Picture of a peace symbol) BACK BY POPULAR DEMAND
(Picture of Bush) WHY SHOULD I CARE
WHAT THE AMERICAN PEOPLE THINK?
THEY DIDN’T VOTE FOR ME.
YOU DON’T HAVE TO LIKE BUSH TO LOVE AMERICA
ANOTHER SADDAM-HATER FOR INSPECTIONS
$1 BILLION A DAY TO KILL PEOPLE—WHAT A BARGAIN
STOP THE EXCESS OF EVIL—$396 BILLION DEFENSE BILL
WHAT’S THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN ME AND GOD? HE
MIGHT FORGIVE BUSH, BUT I WON’T.
(Beneath a picture of a menacing soldier pointing his bayonet toward the viewer) SAY IT! ONE NATION UNDER GOD. SAY IT!
THE ASSES OF EVIL
SMART WEAPONS, DUMB PRESIDENT
THE ONLY THING WE HAVE TO FEAR IS BUSH HIMSELF
PEACE TAKES BRAINS
HOW MANY LIVES PER GALLON?
ANOTHER PATRIOT FOR PEACE
DON’T DO IT, GEORGE. POPPY WILL STILL LOVE YOU.
TO THE PEOPLE OF THE EARTH: DON’T BLAME US. WE VOTED
FOR THE OTHER GUY.
ONE NATION UNDER SURVEILLANCE
GO SOLAR, NOT BALLISTIC
(On a five-year-old) MORE CANDY, LESS WAR
ONE GOOSE-STEP, TWO GOOSE-STEPS. . . .
IT’S NUCLEAR, NOT NUCULAR, YOU IDIOT!
Still alive, still well, still raising hell in the home of the free and the land of the brave. God grant it goes right.
16.
State of the Union
The Constitution of the United States is a law for rulers and people equally in war and peace. And covers with the shield of its protection all classes of men at all times and under all circumstances.
—THE UNITED STATES SUPREME COURT IN EX PARTE MILLIGAN, ITS DECISION ON THE LEGALITY OF ABRAHAM LINCOLN’S SUSPENSION OF HABEAS CORPUS DURING THE CIVIL WAR
I’m the commander—see, I don’t need to explain—I do not need to explain why I say things. That’s the interesting thing about being the president. Maybe somebody needs to explain to me why they say something, but I don’t feel like I owe anybody an explanation.
—GEORGE W. BUSH, QUOTED BY BOB WOODWARD IN BUSH AT WAR
The late John Henry Faulk, a Texas humorist and folklorist, also had a career in the Texas Rangers. In fact, he was a captain. He was six at the time, and his friend Boots Cooper, who was seven, was the sheriff. The two of them used to do a lot of serious law-enforcement work out behind Johnny’s home in South Austin. One day Johnny’s momma, havin’ two such fine law-enforcement officers on the premises, decided to put ’em to work. “I want you men to go down to the henhouse and roust that chicken snake out of there,” she said. All excited, the boys hopped onto their brooms, galloped down to the henhouse, tethered their brooms, and went inside. They searched through all the nests on the bottom shelf of the henhouse but found no snake. They were of a size and an age where they had to stand on tiptoe to see if there was a snake on the top shelf. There was.
I myself have never been nose to nose with a chicken snake, but I always took John Henry’s