Business Networking and Sex - Ivan Misner [14]
There are three conflicting facts here; we all like to hear the sound of our own names, the badge is on the chest, and men are not supposed to stare at the chest area in a business situation. What’s a guy to do? This can make an otherwise calm, confident man confused and nervous if he overthinks it.
As you’d expect, this stirs up the age-old topic of how easily men are distracted by breasts. One gentleman told me he’d find it helpful if women didn’t put their name badges on their chests because he is so worried they’ll think he’s looking at you-know-what. I empathize, but where would be a better place for them, on the forehead?
A male colleague recently told me that he hates lanyards because he’s been “taught his whole life NOT to look at that part of a woman!” I noticed that a woman standing near us had her lanyard swinging between her voluptuous cleavage as she walked and recalled another comment made by a frustrated woman in our study: “I find that men are more interested in my ample bosoms than my business. Regardless of the fact that I definitely don’t flaunt them, most men ‘talk to the both of me’. This lack of focus makes it tough for me to be taken seriously as a competent businesswoman.” I saw the plight of both my friend and the women trying to corral focus toward their credentials and skills.
OGLING OR MEMORIZING? STOP GETTING BUSTED!
Gentlemen, glancing quickly at a name badge is very different from ogling the breasts. We can most of the time tell the difference between a couple of refresher looks at the tag and a lingering, repeated, and invasive stare. Here are a few tips for breaking the cycle of unwanted looking:
• It’s hard to be fully involved in a conversation and leering at body parts at the same time. If you’re really listening and fully engaged in the conversation, it’ll curb your ogle tendencies. Try asking questions you don’t normally ask to keep your mind focused.
• The first time you meet someone and look at their nametag, say the name aloud and picture it written across their forehead. Visualizing something written helps to remember it and it’ll keep your eyes in the face zone.
• Use additional mnemonics. There are three things that need to occur to commit anything to memory: observation, association, and visualization. For more thorough coaching on memorizing, read the helpful tutorials on www.buildyourmemory.com.
No One Will Take You Seriously in That Get-Up
Ladies, when you’re attending a business networking event, dress to get business, not a date. If you want to be taken seriously, stop fooling around and look the part. What is appropriate? It’s possible that some of the confusion lies in our corporate culture. A USA Today article interviewed several companies whose definition of business casual varied, but Five Point Capital, a San Diego-based equipment-leasing specialist, asks that no body parts from the shoulders to the knees be seen, except for arms. That makes it pretty clean, doesn’t it? Even though they allow jeans on Fridays, they’re spelling out what nonsexy is, so there’s no confusion. A study conducted by www.theladders.com included 2,243 executives, 36 percent of whom thought casual dressers seemed more creative. But 49 percent felt those casual dressers ran the risk of not being taken seriously. Many companies have taken away the casual Friday approach because it got out of hand. Fifty-three percent of employers offered business casual to its employees, compared to only 38 percent just five years later, according to the USA Today study.
Managing Perceptions with Your Professional Wardrobe
Need some tips on the best way to lead