Business Networking and Sex - Ivan Misner [28]
As adult males we do the same. “Doing” together allows us to bond and have meaningful conversations about the stuff we are doing, without the emotional part of talking about feelings. We get to cut out all the drama and as a result, rarely argue or judge each other. We, as men, don’t need to judge. If we don’t think you’re the type of friend we want, we just stop getting together.
She Comments . . .
Is this why some guys say they’ll call and never do?
He Responds . . .
You’ve got it! Keep it simple. That’s our creed. We tend to compartmentalize things and don’t like to carry a lot of emotional baggage. We want to resolve a problem quickly, when it occurs, and then move on. We get upset, let off steam, and then decide what we are going to do about it. Then we simply do it or let it go. We don’t talk about it for the next two months wondering what to do or rehash it. We let it go and move on.
Why does all this matter? Because women don’t operate this way. Their friendships are not about doing but about talking, sharing, helping, thinking, and anything relational. What this means for men and women both is that we need to be aware, learn about, have an understanding for, and be willing to adapt to the opposite sex’s expectations and processes of relationship building.
Have you ever met someone and thought about having a romantic relationship with them based on the usual criteria: You liked them, they liked you, you laughed together and got along well? They were funny, witty, smart, caring, thoughtful, compassionate, and very attractive. That was just about everything you wanted. Then you got into a conversation about goals in life. Your desires for kids, career, professional lifestyle, and other important directional goals were polar opposites. You probably felt then that your basic needs were not being met and this was a different person than you had assumed. Then you realized that this may not be the person for you and felt upset, frustrated, angry, and depressed. Part of the problem was that you didn’t fully understand this person in the beginning.
This is the same thing we are talking about in a business relationship. This can and does happen between two men and two women, however, it’s much more pronounced between the sexes. We have plenty of data that supports what we all already know: Men and women are different. Not vastly different, but significantly different. This means that we are very similar to each other. We have many commonalities. But the differences are very different. Two perfect examples are our sexual organs and brain functions. This book is our attempt to enhance understanding for the ultimate goal of creating a more harmonious and productive work life.
The Difference Is in Our Brains
Here are some interesting differences between men’s and women’s brains:
RELATIONSHIP BUILDING
Women are much more effective communicators in the relationship-building process than men. Why? They listen more intently and actually hear, focusing on discussion details so any solution that is achieved is a consensus of the group, rather than just a sole opinion from an individual. This allows them to build trust more easily and therefore bond more quickly and deeply. Their natural ability to read and process nonverbal cues such as tone, emotion, and empathy is great.
You men right now are probably thinking that you already do that! Yeah, right. And I used to like to watch Oprah!
We men are not natural listeners and discussers. We are problem solvers. We are task-oriented and tend to be more isolated in our processes. These