Business Networking and Sex - Ivan Misner [3]
Finally, the findings are translated into action steps for each gender with which to shape their networking style so that they may take advantage of the full potential that building social capital has to offer.
My objective is to offer the data in a gender-neutral presentation; just interpreting the study findings through the lens of decades of long, seasoned, cross-cultural experience. I do my best to stay away from speaking for my gender or giving opinions on the female gender. Believe me, you’ll get more than enough gender-slanted opinions, interpretations, jabs, and strong suggestions from She and He, represented by Hazel and Frank.
He Says . . .
We Want the Same Things but Get Them Differently
It’s interesting that our study revealed two very distinct facts, seemingly at odds with one another. The first is that both men and women want to get business from networking and are willing to work hard to get it. The second is that we seem to make things so difficult for ourselves by only networking in the style our own gender prefers and understands. This is as counterproductive as a heterosexual marriage based either on only what the man wants, or only what the woman wants. If they both want to stay married they quickly figure out what it takes to make the other person happy and do it.
Speaking of Sex
You may be wondering what sex has to do with networking. You may also be excited to learn how to use your sexual prowess to influence business deals and, around the office, to get things to go the way you’d like. Get your mind out of the gutter! Sorry to burst your bubble, but this book is really more about gender than sex, but who’s going to do a double take at the bookstore for the title Business, Networking, and Gender? Do I hear crickets chirping? That’s exactly why we used the more scintillating title, Business Networking and Sex. Not many people walk around thinking about gender, but many people think many times a day about, well, you know.
Do You Make the Cut?
Are you ready to be made fun of, stereotyped, discounted, insulted, and blamed for what someone else has done? Do you have the ability to take a good, hard look at your own behavior and make changes that may be uncomfortable at first? Can you laugh at yourself and stop taking everything so seriously for a little while? Then read on. The rewards are great.
Do we really like to make things difficult for ourselves? Is the problem that our culturally gender-specific values and sexual brain chemistry actually handicap us from working well together? Give me a break! This is a cop-out. I do have another question, though, for which I must apologize ahead of time. Are we men really idiots? Absolutely. In fact, our study confirms what people have known for a long time, and that is that sometimes men behave as pigs. Here are a couple of quotes from our study about professional men in networking situations:
Not to be sexist, but the hot businesswoman will always draw a larger crowd at networking functions because men assume that giving business to her will make her like him.
In a structured networking group, I find having female members there very beneficial because it ensures that the men are more present and polite.
Are we really this stupid and shallow? Apparently some of us are, and all it takes is a few to create a reputation. It’s pretty sad that we need females in the room to make us behave in a civilized manner. Sheesh. Ladies, on behalf of men everywhere, I apologize. I know I’ll feel the urge to do that frequently throughout the book, but this will be the one and only time for the sake of space and sanity.
One of those continually agitating issues between genders that lands us guys in the doghouse over and over is the old, classic conundrum that I like to call, “What’d I say?!” Men, I’m sure you know the feeling of trying to prepare your