Business Networking and Sex - Ivan Misner [31]
Men learn networking skills “on their own” at their fathers’ knees from the day they are old enough to understand male bonding and relationship building. Participating in sports can be key in building networking relationships between men. They participate in sports as a player or spectator from a very early age. They do business on the golf course, and talk business in the bar over a beer while watching games. Their fraternities stay connected as a strong business network long after they’ve left school. They learn to network from all the men around them. That the statistics say they learn skills on their own is not surprising.
Comparatively speaking, women are new in the world of business and certainly in the world of sports. Our sororities were more about dating than connecting in the business world. Women do not tend to bond over sports and we don’t have time to hang out in the bar or on the golf course. Things have changed a lot, but we still have a long way to go. We must teach our daughters the art of business networking and connecting to one another, and supporting and assisting each other to achieve the success that we all want to achieve.
In her book, She Wins, You Win, Gail Evans makes the following statement, “I realized like many women, I didn’t want to play the game the way the guys did . . . . As time passed I also began to realize that one of the most important elements of the men’s game was missing from the women’s. Whatever you want to call it—support, teamwork, assistance, the bottom line was: The boys were all taking care of each other. The women weren’t.” Gail further states, “We help each other in the small picture, being supportive in times of trouble and giving advice about sticky job-related situations, but we are not helping over the big picture”.
I go back to my original comment, which is that women are relatively new players in the field, only beginning to break through the world of business networking. Learning to network for women will not come from generations of women passing down secret skills from generation to generation. It will come from seeking out information.
When my children were small I stayed at home with them. I was involved with their schools and an active member of the PTA locally and statewide. One day, my husband had an accident that left him unable to work for a considerable amount of time. That meant there was no one to run the insurance agency that he started, and it was the sole source of our income. I suddenly had to leave the home and enter the world of business ownership. It didn’t take me long to figure out that I needed to network if I was going to grow this business and help my family. In the beginning, I had no idea how to network, where to network, or who to network with. I was lost!
I began searching everywhere for classes, books, and people who could help me. The only book I could find at that time was Endless Referrals by Bob Burg. In his book he said to join networking groups, start connecting, and follow up to create more business. I read the book cover to cover and began to implement it into my business. I joined a closed-contact networking group called “The Network,” later to become BNI. I joined the chamber of commerce and got on the ambassador committee and slowly but surely began to build a very substantial network. I spent a great deal of time seeking out more opportunities to learn how to network and took classes offered by local experts, read books, joined groups, and sought out others who could teach me how to network. At that time there were not many options to choose from.