Business Networking and Sex - Ivan Misner [54]
EMOTION OR FACT?
If a listener receives the same message first from a nonemotive speaker, merely relaying the facts, and then from an emotional, distressed speaker, the listener is more likely to dramatize or magnify the information received from the second scenario. The flip side of the dramatic, emotional delivery of a message is that the listener may actually discount the information, thinking it is exaggerated. Think of the classic scenario that most of us have been through, in which an acquaintance known for theatrics emotionally relays a dramatic message. Do you doubt that the scene they describe is not enhanced just a little bit? Heightened emotion usually transfers from speaker to listener, and is a technique most great speakers have finessed to an art form because of its power to manipulate.
Having been told directly by a few women that it might be a problem, I immediately became concerned that by scheduling meetings in the morning we might be causing difficulty for most women in the organization, perhaps unintentionally causing them to leave our group. As it turned out, the problem was not widespread, and without complaint, the women throughout the organization attended morning meetings with the same regularity and commitment as the men. Being sensitive to gender-related problems caused me to see the potential morning meeting problem as larger and more worrisome than it actually was. This is another example of how emotion attached to fact can magnify perception.
Despite the fact that the data doesn’t show a substantial difference between men and women on this issue, the few women who disapprove of morning meetings seem to be very strongly against them. Notice the woman’s choice of words in the irate feedback below.
My parenting responsibilities make an early breakfast time impossible. Women are unable to participate in morning meetings because they have chosen to be great parents, too. That’s just a sad day for a networking group! I’ve often wondered if the misogynistic jerks who run these groups will ever figure out that women control more spending than men do, are better networkers, and responsible for more small-business startups than men are. Their loss.
Ladies, please don’t shoot the messenger: The data doesn’t show a big difference between the way men and women feel about the time of day networking meetings occur. The comments certainly do, though. This indicates that although there is not a big difference in the number of survey responses on each side, there is a pretty high level of intense feeling attached to the subject in those who felt negatively about it.
A number of women expressed concern about the meeting time being a challenge for other women, as well as some men, as you’ll see in the comment below:
I have heard several times that women generally find early morning networking more difficult to attend as they are usually the ones doing the child minding taking the children to school, etc.
In light of those few responses disapproving of morning meetings, it appears overall that it didn’t matter a great deal to either gender whether the meetings were held in the morning, at noon, or in the evening, even though women found family obligations to be a bit more of an obstacle to networking than did men.
Although the degree of the problem does not appear to be as big as the expressive vocalization may make it seem, my perception is that it is a serious problem for some individuals.
Networking at lunch was preferred more strongly by women, at twice the response rate (8.7 percent) as men (4.7 percent), agreeing that it was always a better time. Men and women rated networking in the evening virtually the same.
He Says . . .
The Benefits of Networking Outweigh Scheduling Obstacles
I hear people talk about networking events as obligations, which I don’t understand. How are meeting, schmoozing, and socializing as a low-cost, high-benefit tool