Business Networking and Sex - Ivan Misner [64]
What this means is that as long as men are ready with a strategy that helps them achieve their overall goal, they’ll be comfortable with whichever type of networking event they’re at. Men want events that have a purpose and don’t waste their time. Give men a well-run meeting and they’ll be there whenever they can because they’ll be confident about getting results.
She Says . . .
Author of No Matter What, Lisa Nichols makes a good observation: “I believe that men are interested in the results and women are interested in both the journey and the results.”
If you’ve ever been on a car trip (or even an errand) with a man, you’ve experienced the meaning of the word “driven.” Before you even get in the car he’s mapped out the most efficient route to the destination, counted the number of times he’ll need to stop for gas, and calculated the arrival time down to the minute. Then he loads his wife (or girlfriend) into the car and off they go. This typical scenario really shows how women love the journey and men love the accomplishment of reaching the destination:
“Honey, do we have to take the interstate? If we do, we’ll miss so much of the beautiful countryside. Let’s take some of those backcountry roads. Oh, look! There’s a nice little shop. Let’s stop and pick up a few souvenirs. Oh, and look at that lovely park. Let’s stop and have a picnic.”
You’ll also see this love of the journey is reflected in the way women network and run their businesses. We want to slow down, build the relationship, and enjoy the process along the way. Both men and women are on the same road with ultimately the same destination, but the female tendency to stop and smell the roses may be partially responsible for why we live longer.
Type of Network
Women have learned from an early age to be flexible, which directly corresponds with their agreeableness to both structured and unstructured events, preferring neither over the other. Because of our many responsibilities, and out of necessity, we’ve developed the ability to change gears quickly. We may have planned a perfectly lovely day, but suddenly find ourselves in the middle of chaos, trying to juggle all the balls. Women are adaptable, fluid, and flexible collaborators and multitaskers. Does it really matter to us what kind of networking event it is? As long as we can figure out how to make it fit into our already hectic lives, we are happy to take part in it because we know we have the power to create something good from it.
We shouldn’t be surprised that men are decisively choosing one event over the other, even when both are fine with them and they’re really just choosing both. They’d much rather choose both than say that either one is fine. Do men see flexibility as weakness? Having an opinion surely is the opposite of wishy-washy. Ask him his opinion about anything and it is almost always an either or answer.
Because women are more fluid and flexible, when it comes to choosing our networking activities, we are perfectly at home in both. I stress the importance to my clients of being active in multiple types of networks as a way to diversify. If I am only a member of a structured network and never participate in any other type of networking, then I bring less to the table as a networking partner. I also caution all my clients to be careful how many organizations they join, because there will eventually come a point of diminished return once their time and attention is spread too thinly.
When I first started learning to network, I joined every single organization that I could. I was a member of a BNI chapter, six different chambers of commerce, my local Rotary club, a private club, and also went to every trade show in town hoping to make even more connections. It didn’t take long for me to earn the nickname “The Queen of Networking,” but what I actually learned