Business Networking and Sex - Ivan Misner [66]
Some women’s groups are against men in general and I don’t agree with that at all. I think it is always nice to interact with people of both sexes.
I find it extremely insulting when a woman tells me she belongs to a “women only” networking group. It excludes 50 percent of the working population.
Since I began networking, I have come across many women’s groups. I find it somewhat offensive to exclude men from these groups. If men did such a thing, women would make a scene about it. I think women and men should work together for mutual success. We no longer live in the 1950s. We need to live in the here and now.
I feel that there are too many women-only networking groups. I’m sure the women would object if there were men-only groups. I much prefer mixed groups.
Men, you are always welcome to join, if that’s what you really want to do. You can reap great benefits from that membership.
What happened to a jeweler named Edward is a good example of how this works. He was great at taking notes about the personal preferences of and dates special to the women who visited his store. He decided to join a women’s group, hosted the women in his store, served as an officer in the organization, and donated his time and money. Think about it, who buys jewelry? Did you say women? Wrong. Most often men buy gifts for their women, such as wedding rings, anniversary gifts, and so on. Edward would send notes, make phone calls, and drop emails to the men in the lives of the women in his network (about what their ladies’ preferences were). He not only was successful networking with the ladies, he also enjoyed it.
Here is another example of how this helped a male networker:
I am one of only four men in a women-focused business group of about 100 women. I have found that because there are only a few men in our group, when I speak, the others pay extra attention to what I say. But this only works if I keep my comments and thoughts to a minimum. If I start to dominate the conversation, the tone or attitude can change fairly quickly.
Being associated with a women’s business group can be very effective but only if you are willing to take a nondominant approach and are comfortable letting women completely control the environment, as expressed here:
I love being the only guy at women’s networking events, such as those held by E-women. They tend to be very receptive and curious about why I am there and give me credit for courage. Women tend to be better clients then men.
Men who are networking with women need to remember that for them it is all about the relationship. When you walk into an all-female group, you have to remember that you are in their world. Don’t think for a moment that we cannot see through the man who is just trying to sell us. Look at what big mistakes these schmoozers made:
I used to belong to a women’s business group. A male insurance agent attended. He assured us all, multiple times, that his best customers were women because he understood them so well. We were rolling eyes at the first repetition, and by the sixth or seventh, we were no longer listening. Setting yourself up as an expert on someone else’s minority is not good networking.
I used to belong to a women’s business organization. There were more than 50 women who came on a monthly basis to develop relationships. At one point, a man decided he wanted to join the organization to sell health insurance to all the women. Very few women purchased his service, and he soon left the group. They felt he was only there to sell his services, then move on to the next group. He didn’t take the time to actually become part of the group by volunteering on the board, giving back to the members, or building the relationships that could soon turn into long-term referral sources. He truly could have built his business through this group of women. Instead he was very narrow-minded and only thought about