California Schemin' - Kate George [86]
Meg crashed through the door with her brood. Gemma and Pete ran down the church and into my pew for hugs. Sara and Jeremy sat behind me and leaned their forearms on the seat back. Sara whispered to Jeremy as a large woman in a very short skirt sat across the aisle from us. They burst into giggles, and Meg gave them what could only be called the beady eyeball.
“Easy you two,” I said. “Remember, adults can have their feelings hurt, too.”
Jeremy had the grace to look ashamed of himself, but Sara just grinned at me.
“She must have a lot of self-confidence to wear that to church, Bree. I don’t think I have to worry about hurting her feelings.”
The church filled quickly, and it wasn’t long before strains of music filled the room. A low mutter followed. Instead of traditional wedding music, Hawaiian ukulele strumming filled the hall. Before I had a chance to wonder at Shirl’s choice of music, the first of the bridesmaids started down the aisle. She was dressed in a grass skirt and bikini top. Her feet were bare, and wrapped around her ankles and wrists were strands of . seaweed? I bit my bottom lip to keep from grinning. A second and third attendant followed the first. They were dressed identically, but the effect was rather different on each of them.
“Oh my gosh, Bree, do you believe this?” Sara’s voice was quiet in my ear. “The first one looks OK, but they should have stuffed that one girl’s bra. I can’t say what I’m thinking about the last one.”
Sara had a point. The third girl was truly magnificent. The cups of her bikini barely contained her breasts, and her belly was big and round as well. As she danced her body undulated in a hypnotic sway that made me wonder if we were going to end up seeing more of her than we maybe cared to.
I glanced around at the guests sitting in the pews. Shell shock was the word that came to mind. Several people had their mouths hanging open, and there were a couple of faces so red that I was worried someone would have heart failure. Steve and Tom had huge grins on their faces. They had known what was coming, and they were enjoying it to the fullest.
“Where do you suppose they got the seaweed?” I whispered to Sara.
“Iparty,” she whispered back. “They have this whole section for luaus.”
Meg shot me a dirty look and shushed Sara.
Meg’s whisper died away as Shirl appeared at the back of the church. I’d never seen anything quite like her get-up. Her hair was braided on top of her head, and she wore a veil and white pearls. Her bikini top was white satin and lace. Instead of a grass skirt, she wore an ankle length satin skirt layered with strips of torn white lace. The effect could have been very sea-weedy, if the skirt had been green. It was simply bizarre. Her feet were bare like those of her bridesmaids, only she had strips of lace hanging from her ankles and wrists.
Shirl minced the tiny steps of the hula while waving her hands in an intricate pattern. If we’d been mesmerized by the bridesmaids, now we were hypnotized. Each step brought her about four inches closer to the altar. The elaborate motions of her hands told a story. The only problem was I didn’t think any of us had a clue what they were supposed to be saying. Presumably, it was a song of love and devotion, but who knew? It could have been the story of John and Yoko. I’d never know the difference.
I glanced to where Steve was waiting with Tom. They both still wore oversized grins. I glanced back to Shirl. She had her bottom lip pulled under her top teeth and the corners of her mouth were twitching, and I realized she was trying not to laugh. Instead of wedding nerves, Steve and Shirl were having fun.
I recognized the feeling in the pit of my stomach as jealousy. I wanted what they had. Hell, I wanted a relationship that lasted more than a few months. I could already imagine what the Leftsky kids would look like. Blonde hair, blue eyes, devilish grins. They’d be the happiest kids in Vermont. Shirl would have everything I’d ever wanted, not that I’d ever wanted more than friendship