Cambridge Blue - Alison Bruce [107]
‘OK then,’ he said. ‘Fire away.’
‘I’ve heard about the new murder.’
‘What do you know, exactly?’
‘That there’s a connection to Lorna.’ Colour briefly flushed her cheeks, and then was gone. ‘Is it Victoria?’
Goodhew gave a small nod. ‘Yes.’
‘I’m sorry. I didn’t know her too well, but . . .’ Her sentence drifted into silence. ‘I’ve realized it’s time to talk to you, because I killed Colin Willis.’ She put her hand on the envelope, not to pass it over, more to hold on to it. ‘Your tests would have shown that the dog fur was Bridy’s in any case.’
‘So why not tell us at the time?’
Jackie turned her face away, and seemed to be frowning at the desktop. Her expression remained unchanged through several minutes, even when she looked up again. ‘I was still trying to understand it all,’ she said. ‘I thought it was over, so I didn’t realize that there was any urgency. Then, with this other death, I knew I was wrong.’
Goodhew suspected that her earlier show of confidence had been brought on by nothing more than the decision to act. Since entering the room, her skin had lost its former colour and her expression had changed into the sluggishness of perpetual shock. He wanted her to keep talking so that her resolve to tell all didn’t diminish. ‘How well did you know Willis?’
‘I didn’t. I’d seen him hanging around on the footpath beside the river several times. I only noticed him in the first place because his presence there made me feel slightly uncomfortable. But you know, by the time he attacked me, I’d convinced myself that I was being paranoid. I walked past him and he suddenly grabbed my throat.’ As if to illustrate it, she put her hand to her own throat. She closed her eyes as she recounted the attack. By the time she had described Colin Willis’ body disappearing into the Cam, she was still clenching her own neck and breathing hard.
Goodhew reached forward and gently pulled her hand away. She opened her eyes and gulped in just enough air to calm herself. When she spoke again she sounded hoarse. ‘I’m not sorry I killed him, because I don’t think I had any choice. But I’m sorry I didn’t call for help. I know I should have made a statement at the time. I still have nightmares about it. I have nightmares about everything. And I’ve regretted it so many times. I know I should have told you at the time you took those fur samples from Bridy.’
‘Why didn’t you?’
‘For the same reason I slid his body into the river.’
‘I thought that was on impulse?’
‘It was . . . when I saw the knife I realized that he’d been planning to kill me. It didn’t seem at all random, then, but like someone had put him up to it, and that’s what I couldn’t deal with. And I thought if I came forward, no one would believe me. In that moment I thought that, just by getting rid of him, I wouldn’t have to face up to the truth that someone, probably someone I know, actually wanted me dead.’
‘Like who?’
‘I don’t know.’ Jackie bit one side of her bottom lip and stared at him.
Goodhew felt as though she was weighing him up, having second thoughts about telling him this. ‘But you have some information, you say?’
Her gaze moved away from him and fixed itself on the envelope. For the first time, tears welled in her eyes. ‘I’ve had it for weeks.’ She passed him the envelope. ‘But I didn’t know it would lead to all of this.’
‘You had it before Lorna died?’
She nodded.
‘And when she was murdered, you still didn’t think you needed to come forward?’
Again colour rose in her cheeks but, this time, spread with enough intensity to reach her temples. ‘I didn’t think there was a connection. I just thought . . . oh, I don’t know, maybe that she was the victim of a random attack.’
‘Until you heard that there had been another death?’ He slid his hand into the envelope. It was the kind that had gusseted sides and had been slightly puffed out, and looked fat enough to contain a sheaf of papers, so he was surprised to find only one sheet.