Can you keep a secret_ - Sophie Kinsella [2]
Different directions?
Is that what he's been talking about all this time?
My stomach gives an anxious lurch.
He can't be—
Is he trying to pull out of the deal?
'Excuse me, Doug,' I say, in my most relaxed voice. 'Obviously I was closely following what you were saying earlier.' I give a friendly, we're-all-professionals-together smile. 'But if you could just … um, recap the situation for all our benefits …'
In plain English, I beg silently.
Doug Hamilton and the other guy exchange glances.
'We're a little unhappy about your brand values,' says Doug Hamilton.
'My brand values?' I echo in panic.
'The brand values of the product,' he says, giving me an odd look. 'As I've been explaining, we here at Glen Oil are going through a rebranding process at the moment, and we see our new image very much as a caring petrol, as our new daffodil logo demonstrates. And we feel Panther Prime, with its emphasis on sport and competition, is simply too aggressive.'
'Aggressive?' I stare at him, bewildered. 'But … it's a fruit drink.'
This makes no sense. Glen Oil is fume-making, world-ruining petrol. Panther Prime is an innocent cranberry-flavoured drink. How can it be too aggressive?
'The values it espouses.' He gestures to the marketing brochures on the table. 'Drive. Elitism. Masculinity. The very slogan, "Don't Pause". Frankly, it seems a little dated.' He shrugs. 'We just don't think a joint initiative will be possible.'
No. No. This can't be happening. He can't be pulling out.
Everyone at the office will think it was my fault. They'll think I cocked it up and I'm completely crap.
My heart is thumping. My face is hot. I can't let this happen. But what do I say? I haven't prepared anything. Paul said it was all set up and all I had to do was shake their hands.
'We'll certainly discuss it again before we make a decision,' Doug's saying. He gives me a brief smile. 'And as I say, we would like to continue links with the Panther Corporation, so this has been a useful meeting in any case.'
He's pushing back his chair.
I can't let this slip away! I have to try to win them round. I have to try and shut the deal.
Close the deal. That's what I meant.
'Wait!' I hear myself say. 'Just … wait a moment! I have a few points to make.'
What am I talking about? I have no points to make.
There's a can of Panther Prime sitting on the desk, and I grab it for inspiration. Playing for time, I stand up, walk to the centre of the room and raise the can high into the air where we can all see it.
'Panther Prime is … a sports drink.'
I stop, and there's a polite silence. My face is prickling.
'It … um … it is very …'
Oh God. What am I doing?
Come on, Emma. Think. Think Panther Prime … think Panther Cola … think … think …
Yes! Of course!
OK, start again.
'Since the launch of Panther Cola in the late 1980s, Panther drinks have been a byword for energy, excitement and excellence,' I say fluently.
Thank God. This is the standard marketing blurb for Panther Cola. I've typed it out so many zillions of times, I could recite it in my sleep.
'Panther drinks are a marketing phenomenon,' I continue. 'The Panther character is one of the most widely recognized in the world, while the classic slogan "Don't Pause" has made it into dictionaries. We are now offering Glen Oil an exclusive opportunity to join with this premium, world-famous brand.'
My confidence growing, I start to stride around the room, gesturing with the can.
'By buying a Panther health drink, the consumer is signalling that he will settle for nothing but the best.' I hit the can sharply with my other hand. 'He expects the best from his energy drink, he expects the best from his petrol, he expects the best from himself.'
I'm flying! I'm fantastic! If Paul could see me now, he'd give me a promotion on the spot!
I come over to the desk and look Doug Hamilton right in the eye. 'When the Panther consumer opens that can, he is making a