Can you keep a secret_ - Sophie Kinsella [29]
'A year?'
'OK? Now hop it.'
My mind is whirling. I have to accept this in a calm, dignified way. I have to say something like 'I respect your decision, Paul', shake his hand and leave the room. This is what I have to do.
The only trouble is, I can't seem to get up out of my chair.
After a few moments Paul looks puzzledly at me. 'That's it, Emma.'
I can't move. Once I leave this room, it's over. '
'Emma?'
'Please promote me,' I say desperately. 'Please. I have to get a promotion to impress my family. It's the only thing I want in the whole world, and I'll work so hard, I promise, I'll come in at weekends, and I'll … I'll wear smart suits …'
'What?' Paul is staring at me as though I've turned into a goldfish.
'You don't have to pay me any more salary! I'll do all the same jobs as before. I'll even pay to have my new business cards printed! I mean, it won't make any difference to you. You won't even know I've been promoted!'
I break off, breathing hard.
'I think you'll find that's not quite the point of promotion, Emma,' says Paul sarcastically. 'I'm afraid the answer's no. Even more so.'
'But—'
'Emma, a word of advice. If you want to get ahead, you have to create your own chances. You have to carve out your own opportunities. Now seriously. Could you please fuck off out of my office and get Nick for me?'
As I leave I can see him raising his eyes to heaven and scribbling something else on my form.
Great. He's probably writing 'Deranged lunatic, seek medical help'.
As I walk dejectedly back to my desk, Artemis looks up with a beady expression. 'Oh, Emma,' she says, 'your cousin Kerry just called for you.'
'Really?' I say in surprise. Kerry never phones me at work. In fact she never phones me at all. 'Did she leave a message?'
'Yes, she did. She wanted to know, have you heard about your promotion yet?'
OK. This is now official. I hate Kerry.
'Oh right,' I say, trying to sound as though this is some boring, everyday enquiry. 'Thanks.'
'Are you being promoted, Emma? I didn't know that!' Her voice is high and piercing, and I see a couple of people raise their heads in interest. 'So, are you going to become a marketing executive?'
'No,' I mutter, my face hot with humiliation. 'I'm not.'
'Oh!' Artemis pulls a mock-confused face. 'So why did she—'
'Shut up, Artemis,' says Caroline. I give her a grateful look and slump into my chair.
Another whole year. Another whole year of being the crappy marketing assistant, and everyone thinking I'm useless. Another year of being in debt to Dad, and Kerry and Nev laughing at me, and feeling like a complete failure. I switch on my computer and dispiritedly type a couple of words. But suddenly all my energy's gone.
'I think I'll get a coffee,' I say. 'Does anyone want one?'
'You can't get a coffee,' says Artemis, giving me an odd look. 'Haven't you seen?'
'What?'
'They've taken the coffee machine away,' says Nick. 'While you were in with Paul.'
'Taken it away?' I look at him, puzzled. 'But why?'
'Dunno,' he says, walking off towards Paul's office. 'They just came and carted it away.'
'We're getting a new machine!' says Caroline, walking past with a bundle of proofs. 'That's what they were saying downstairs. A really nice one, with proper coffee. Ordered by Jack Harper, apparently.'
She moves off, and I stare after her.
Jack Harper ordered a new coffee machine?
'Emma!' Artemis is saying impatiently. 'Did you hear that? I want you to find the leaflet we did for the Tesco promotion two years ago. Sorry, Mummy,' she says into the phone. 'Just telling my assistant something.'
Her assistant. God, it pisses me off when she says that.
But to be honest, I'm feeling a bit too dazed to get annoyed.
It's nothing to do with me, I tell myself firmly as I root around at the bottom of the filing cabinet. It's ridiculous to think I had anything to do with it. He was probably planning to order new coffee