Candle in the Darkness - Lynn N. Austin [120]
I didn’t have time to visit Robert that terrible week, or the next. But when the long hours at the hospital finally eased, I returned to Libby Prison with a parcel of food and some more books. I couldn’t help feeling angry with him.
“I did what you asked me to do, but the war didn’t end,” I said without a word of greeting. I knew that I was unfairly discharging my stockpile of grief and disappointment at him, but I couldn’t stop myself.
Robert was incredulous. “You did? You really delivered it?”
“Yes. I carried your Bible across to the Union lines and gave it to a colonel named Drake. But a fat lot of good it did for me to turn traitor. Your precious army is in retreat.”
“Retreat? But . . . that can’t be true.”
“Oh, it’s true, all right. At the rate they’re running, they’ll be back in Washington before the leaves fall. According to all the newspapers, Lincoln has replaced General McClellan.”
Robert looked as though I had punched him in the stomach. “Caroline . . . I don’t know what to say. I mean, that’s what the jailers told us . . . but we didn’t believe them. We thought it was idle boasting. How could our army be defeated? And why are they retreating? We have the Rebels outnumbered. . . .”
“Here’s the paper,” I said, tossing it to him. “Read it yourself.”
“No . . . no . . .” The paper fell to the floor as Robert slumped down onto the bench and leaned against the brick wall. For a moment, I thought he might start banging his head against it. Too late, I realized that a Union victory would have meant his freedom.
“McClellan let us down,” he mumbled. “We put all our hopes in him . . . and he let us down.”
I reached for his hand. “I’m sorry, Robert. I’m so sorry. I thought you knew.”
“What’s wrong with our leaders?” Robert shouted. He thrust my hand aside. “What are they doing? What are they afraid of?”
“Robert, listen to me—”
“How long do they think we can stand it in this place?” The despair I saw in his eyes made me suddenly afraid for him.
“Tell me what else I can do to help,” I said as calmly as I could. “I want this war to end as badly as you do. Tell me what to do.”
Fury quickly replaced the despair I’d seen in his eyes. “I need to go back and fight. Help me escape.”
The idea terrified me. I knew I couldn’t possibly help Robert escape, but I didn’t dare destroy his hope a second time. “H-how? Do you have a plan?”
“If I think of one, will you help me?”
“I’d like to help you . . . if I can,” I said carefully. “Now, here, why don’t you eat the food I brought you?”
I stopped bringing Robert the newspaper for a while. I was afraid he would become even more depressed than he already was if he read how Union troops had retreated once again after a second battle near Manassas Junction in August. Charles and Jonathan had marched north with General Longstreet to take on the Union forces under General Pope. The second battle they fought at Manassas had proved even bloodier than the first, but once again our Confederate forces had been victorious.
And once again I breathed a sigh of relief as Sally and I read the casualty lists together. She and her mother had returned to Richmond along with the Confederate Congress once the Peninsula crisis was over. Aunt Anne and Thomas had returned to Hilltop. Except for the chronic shortages of food and the constant worry over Charles, my life had resumed its normal wartime routine.
In his next letter, Charles told me how hard he and the other men had fought at Manassas, and how some of Stonewall Jackson’s men had thrown rocks at the enemy when they’d run out of ammunition. Then we learned that the Confederates had kept going, marching north into Maryland to invade Union territory.
The next time I visited Robert he confronted me. Before the door to the storeroom had even swung closed, he asked, “Is it true what the guards are saying? They’ve been taunting us, telling us that the Rebels have invaded the North. Is it true?”
I could only nod as I sank down onto the bench. Robert was a different person when he was angry.
“How many men does Lee have? What’s he after? Why